


For Eternity

by JamieJam93



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Homophobia, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Mentions of Drunk Driving, Recreational Drug Use, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 17:39:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8410564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieJam93/pseuds/JamieJam93
Summary: A high school AU where Zayn is a ghost who needs Liam to complete his unfinished business before moving on and Liam is a living, breathing student who needs Zayn more than either of them could ever imagine.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, basically what happened is I binge watched Supernatural and got drunk on the weekends for a month straight and ended up becoming inspired to write this XD I wasn't going to post it, but was urged by a couple of friends and, since it's almost Halloween, I decided why not? As long as even one person enjoys it, I'll be content.
> 
> I am not claiming all of my 'ghost rules' to be factual. Some are just how I believe they would be and others are altered for the purposes of this story, but it is a work of fiction and not to be taken seriously anyway. 
> 
> Also, I know a lot of people have triggers, so please read the tags if you feel like you should. If you have any specific questions, you can ask me [here](http://it-hurts-doesnt-it.tumblr.com/) Please no anons because those have to be answered publicly, but I promise, no matter your question/trigger, I won't judge. 
> 
> If you read this whole thing, thank you so much <3

Zayn wasn't on any sports teams. He wasn't involved in any clubs and, from what Liam heard, he didn't go to any crazy parties on the weekends. He didn't wear any of the same brands that the popular kids wore and, most importantly, he didn't bully Liam like the other 'cool' kids did, but he still fit in with them. In fact, he fit in with everyone. Liam hadn't heard a single person from any clique say something bad about Zayn, though they all knew him. If they had yearbook superlatives at their school, Liam thought Zayn would be titled 'most likely to become famous,' and he believed he would be, too. Liam couldn't decide what exactly the other student would be famous for, but he had the looks and the charisma to make it big, and the personality to stick around; much too nice of a person to fall off his throne because of some idiotic scandal.

No matter what he decided to do, Liam knew he would be a fan.

And then the crash happened.

It was one of those terrible, eye-opening experiences that parents and teachers always warned them about. If they weren't careful, they were told, they would learn the hard way that they weren't invincible. The worst part of it, though, was that Zayn had been careful and he still wound up dead anyway.

The crash happened late on a Saturday night, or early Sunday morning, more accurately. Zayn hadn't gone to the rugby captain's house party that night, but his friends had, and Zayn had been on his way to pick them up so they wouldn't harm themselves or another by drinking and driving when a car going at just the right (or wrong) speed swerved into his lane and sent him spiraling right into a pole.

Liam remembered flipping on the television as he ate breakfast later that Sunday morning and seeing the wreck on the news. It made him sad, as all tragic news stories did, but the name of the single fatality hadn't yet been released, so Liam changed the channel and went about his day.

 

“Did you hear about that car accident that happened yesterday?” Liam's mom had asked as he cleaned up his breakfast dishes the next morning, and Liam had to wrack his brain to remember that he had.

“Yeah,” he answered more or less nonchalantly.

“Terrible,” his mom had said, and it was, but Liam was more focused on the fact that his mom was saying more to him than just a 'good morning' than he was at their topic of conversation.

“Yeah, it's sad,” he agreed, feeling bad that his tone of voice didn't match his words, but he needed to get going, and he didn't see the point on dwelling on something that he couldn't change and that had no reason to affect him on a personal level. Of course, his mom had been a negative lady recently that seemed to love to dwell on everything and nothing.

“Did you know the kid?” she asked then.

“It was a kid?” Liam replied, a small pang in his chest because, whether it was right or wrong, all sad stories were sadder when they happened to a kid, weren't they?

“Yeah. Well, it was a boy your age, but in my book, that is a kid. He went to your school.”

“He did?” Liam asked and, once again, he felt like a terrible person because his mind immediately began to give him images of the faces he wouldn't quite miss if the victim had been them. Not that Liam would be happy they were dead, of course, but he wouldn't miss being purposely hit in the face with a ball in physical education class (Tony) or pushed into a trashcan in the lunch room (Alex) or tripped when he went to go sharpen his pencil or get a tissue (Darren).

“He did,” Liam's mother spoke again. “His name was...Oh, what was it again? I just knew it. It's on the tip of my tongue...”

Liam stayed silent as his mother put her fingers to her lips, thinking. He saw the exact moment that the light bulb went off in her head; the name coming to her and, suddenly, Liam wasn't all that sure he wanted to hear anymore.

“Zayn,” the woman said before Liam could make his escape, and then, like hearing the name the first time wasn't bad enough, “Zayn Malik, I think it was.”

Liam tried to keep a poker face, but he could only imagine what his expression actually was. It probably showcased every single awful thing he felt in that moment; disbelief, sadness, anger, fear…

“Sweetheart?” his mom prodded when he continued to only stare, not really seeing her. “Christ, honey, are you alright? You look like you're about to be sick. Here, sit down.”

“I'm okay, mum,” Liam said, even though he wasn't and he wouldn't be surprised if he was sick.

“Did you know him then?” the woman asked, and all Liam had wanted since his dad moved out four months ago was to have her talk to him, but now he just wanted her to shut up.

“Um, yeah,” he answered, having to clear his throat. He turned away and began searching for the backpack he knew had to be lying around there somewhere. “Not well or anything, though, but...um...I'm going to be late, mum. Bye!”

Spotting his backpack on the chair next to him, where Liam always put it, the teen quickly picked it up and swung it over one shoulder, not one other word being issued from him or his mother.

She had to be wrong, Liam told himself in the car on his way to school. It wasn't Zayn who died. He would get to school and run to his locker to find Zayn at the one a bit down the hall. Zayn would give that perfect smile that sometimes was the only thing to get Liam out of the house in the morning, and he would greet him with a, 'Morning, Liam. Did classes go well yesterday?' Just like he did every day. (Except this was Monday, so instead, he would ask how his weekend was.)

Like usual, Liam would say that it was 'fine' and Zayn would reply with, 'Good.' With that, he would close and lock his locker door, tell Liam to have a great day and go about his way.

But when Liam got to his locker, no one else was in the hallway. He was a bit early, though, so after gathering his materials for his first two classes, he lingered about the area for a few. Zayn never showed, and when a girl came around to cry in front of his locker, Liam hurried away; pretending his throat wasn't burning.

Zayn was probably just sick or something, Liam told himself as he sank down into his chair in the back corner of his English class. He just needed to rest for a day or two and then he would be back, greeting Liam with his gorgeous smile again.

“Good morning, class,” Mr. Pierce, the instructor, greeted as the final bell rang. The tone in which Mr. Pierce spoke suggested that it was not actually a good morning. Liam refused to acknowledge the several crying students in the room.

After a pause and then a sigh, Mr. Pierce continued.

“Alright, I'm not going to act like this is a typical Monday,” he said, looking defeated. “Just...chat with each other quietly if you'd like. Or write down how you're feeling; whatever you need to do. I'll be right up here, should anyone desire my assistance.”

Mr. Pierce took his seat. For a few moments, there was complete silence, and then, slowly, the buzz of softly spoken words started up, broken occasionally by a loud sob or someone blowing their nose.

“What happened?” a boy who sat close to Liam and apparently lived under a rock asked the guy sitting next to him.

“Mate, you didn't hear? Zayn Malik died in a car crash Saturday. Or maybe yesterday, I don't remember.”

“No fucking way!”

“Yeah. Some bird side-swiped him right into a pole.”

“Fuck, man.”

“I know.”

Not wanting to hear anymore and wishing he hadn't even heard that, Liam took one of his textbooks from his bag and began to read, not caring how exceptionally boring it was.

At the end of class, Liam was finally forced to face reality when the headmistresses came over the intercom to issue a moment of silence for 'our bright, wonderful friend and student; Zayn Malik.'

The only thing that kept Liam from busting into tears at that moment was Louis, one of Zayn's best mates, who went running out of the room in tears, forcing Liam to realize that he had no reason to cry. He meant nothing to Zayn; wasn't his friend and was barely even his acquaintance. Zayn was nice to him, much like he was to everyone else, but if Zayn had seen Liam outside the walls of the school, he probably wouldn't have had any idea who he was.

 

The next time Liam made a trip to his locker, he saw that Zayn's had been covered with a 'rest in peace, we love you' sign that held several signatures already. Liam would have signed it, but he didn't want to waste the room and take it from someone who had actually meant something to Zayn.

The only positive part in the whole thing was that the bullies left Liam alone for the next few days, but even that wasn't a true positive because Liam would take anything those kids gave him if it meant that Zayn was still alive.

Louis appeared to have gone home that Monday because his boyfriend, Harry, was seen only with their other best mate; a foreign exchange student from Ireland named Niall, and Liam couldn't recall a time when Harry and Louis were ever apart besides class, and even still, Harry was always waiting outside of English class for Louis, who he greeted with the biggest smile known to man as well as a tender kiss on the lips and a 'how did class go?'

Harry and Louis were Liam's relationship goals, and he dreamed of being the Louis to Zayn's Harry, or the other way around, but that was never going to happen now. In his heart, Liam knew it never would have happened anyway, but the fantasy had carried him through that hell hole of a school a lot more than it should have.

Louis still wasn't at school on Tuesday, and at first Liam thought he was still gone on Wednesday too, but then noticed him after a minute, sitting closer to the back of the room instead of directly in front, like usual. He looked exhausted and like he hadn't stopped crying the whole time he was absent. Liam wanted to offer an ear or shoulder, should Louis need one, but he wouldn't ever need Liam and most certainly wouldn't want the weird, nerdy kid reaching out to him in his time of grief.

Liam hadn't realized he'd been staring at Zayn's friend until Louis turned his head and his blue eyes met Liam's brown ones. Heart thumping and cheeks burning, Liam quickly turned his attention to the blank chalkboard.

It took a couple of moments but, eventually, he felt Louis look away too.

Liam had just been starting to relax and come down from his embarrassment when the bell rang to switch classes and then, instead of Louis heading out the door, he made his way to Liam.

 _Shit, shit shit._ Liam had definitely done it now. Louis was one of the few popular kids who didn't bother Liam, but now he was probably on his way to deck him for staring earlier. Honestly, Liam couldn't really blame him, but it still didn't make him feel any better.

“Hey, Liam,” Louis spoke once in front of the other. His voice was weak and he didn't sound particularly threatening, but Liam didn't take much comfort in that.

“Hi, Louis,” Liam replied, and then wondered if he should have used Louis's name. The beat of awkward silence that passed between the two only fueled his fear, but when Louis spoke again, he seemed to have let Liam's possible mistake slide.

“There's going to be a candlelight vigil for Zayn on the football field tonight. Do you think you would want to come?”

“Oh,” Liam breathed, relieved that was all this was about, but suspicious too. Why would Louis give a care in the world if Liam was going or not?

“Zayn would love it if you did,” Louis added when Liam's 'oh' was the only answer he got, and then Liam agreed because how could he say no at that?

“Ace,” Louis said, and gave a tiny sniffle. For a moment, Liam thought he saw tears well in his eyes, but they were gone in an instant, so perhaps Liam had imagined it.

“See you there then, Liam.”

 

Liam doubted if Louis would actually see him that night because he stayed in the back, making sure his candlelight didn't illuminate his face too much, and stared at the picture of Zayn they had projected onto the field. It was a good picture, even if warped by the grass on the ground. Then again, Zayn probably couldn't take a bad picture, Liam rationalized with himself. Not only was the boy's personality perfection, but his appearance was immaculate too. His light brown skin, black hair, gold-brown eyes and sleeves of penned tattoos that he'd drawn himself all contrasted beautifully with his pearly white smile and the way his eyes lit up like sunshine when he laughed.

Liam was going to miss that smile...Those eyes...Those ever-changing 'tattoos' and...well...everything else, even if he had no right to miss any of it at all.

At the end of the night, Niall, Louis and Harry went around to everyone, handing out green balloons and asking the students not to release them until instructed. Liam was debating on leaving before getting his balloon, but he hadn't yet made up his mind when Harry stepped in front of him.

“Oh, hey, Liam,” he greeted with a sad smile.

“Hey,” Liam said.

“Glad you could make it,” Harry said before handing Liam his balloon and walking away. The simple phrase made Liam paranoid because he was pretty sure no one was ever glad he went anywhere, but he forced down his likely irrational fear and studied the balloon. He wondered if green had been Zayn's favorite color and felt sad that he would likely never know. Maybe that was a stupid thing to be sad about, but so be it. Liam was far too tired to fight his feelings anymore.

“Alright, on the count of three, I want to hear a chorus of 'we love you, Zayn,' before we send him off,” Harry said into a megaphone a couple minutes later. Louis was at his side with Harry's free arm around his waist as he spoke. “Okay, here goes...Zayn, we miss you, mate.”

Harry took a breath and then,

“One...two...three.”

All at once, the field was filled with numerous voices declaring their love for Zayn, and green balloons filled the sky. Liam let go of his balloon, but remained silent.

“Thanks for coming, everyone,” Niall said once a majority of the balloons were too high in the sky to be visible. “We lost a great friend this week, but we can pull through it together. For Zayn.”

“Good night and, please, please drive safe and watch out for idiots that don't,” Harry said. “See you at school tomorrow!”

With that, Zayn's three best friends hurried off and the crowd began to disperse. Liam turned to hurry away, hoping to remain unnoticed, and then gasped as he nearly bumped into someone standing behind him.

“Shit, sor-,” he began, except then he noticed that no one was actually there at all. Frowning, Liam looked around, but he didn't even know what he was searching for, so he chalked the event up to his own tiredness and continued to make his way to his car, ignoring the goosebumps on his arms, the hair standing up on the back of his neck, and the way it felt like someone was watching him.

That night was the first that Liam actually allowed himself to cry over Zayn. He could say that he wasn't crying for himself; that he was crying for Louis and Harry and Niall and, most of all, Zayn, who less than a week ago was a young man with hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes and a favorite color and now was in a funeral home somewhere, ready to be buried in the morning.

 

Most people seemed to have gotten closure from the candlelight ceremony because the school was a much lighter place the next day. No one cried during class and excited screams and noisy gossip filled the halls again.

And Liam was welcomed into third period with a 'hey, lame-o,' and a paper wad to the forehead, courtesy of Darren, so there was that.

 

Less than two weeks later, the 'rest in peace' sign was removed from Zayn's locker and the locker was cleared, making way for a new student in need. It hurt Liam to see the piece of paper taken down and it hurt even more to see the janitor throw Zayn's notebooks and pens away. So he didn't watch much, just turned away and fought the urge to slam his head against his own locker.

“Oh, bullocks,” the janitor hissed after a 'thump' had drawn Liam's attention. On the ground was a sketchbook, open to a page with a detailed monster of unknown origins.

“I've got it,” Liam offered, abandoning his locker to pick Zayn's sketchbook off the ground.

“It just jumped out at me, I swear on me mother's grave,” the older man said. A small smile touched Liam's face and it almost hurt.

“Looks like someone doesn't want you to get rid of this then,” he teased, and the janitor's eyes widened.

“Oi, don't say stuff like that, kid. I'm a superstitious man and I don't want to be pissing off no ghost.”

Liam huffed a laugh and it somehow hurt less than the smile; maybe because the thought of ghost Zayn haunting his locker was a good one, if only for the fact that he would be there in some way.

Even though Liam knew he probably shouldn't, as it was an invasion of Zayn's privacy, he flipped through a couple pages in the sketchbook, admiring the work.

“He was good,” the janitor commented, looking as well.

“Yeah, he was,” Liam agreed, even though 'good' was an understatement. “He would have been a comic book creator.”

“Yeah?” the janitor asked, interested, and Liam felt his face redden.

“Well, I mean, if he got famous, I think it would have been for that.”

“Huh,” the older man said, looking at the open page one last time. “Who knows?”

No one, Liam answered silently, his brief break from pain over. No one would ever know now what Zayn would have been or what he would have achieved.

“Were you his mate?” the janitor asked Liam then.

“Oh, um, kind of,” he lied.

“Then why don't you keep that?” he suggested. “If I had talent like that, I wouldn't want it to be thrown out like it was trash.”

Liam nodded, thanked the janitor and carefully carried the sketchbook to his locker, where he set it in a safe spot away from the mess of his own books.

 

That night, Liam left Zayn's sketchbook at school and was terrified that it would somehow be missing when he got there the next day, but when he flung open his locker door, the book was right where he left it. Of course it was.

“Um, excuse me?”

Liam had been in such a panic that he hadn't even noticed the girl at Zayn's old locker, but now that she spoke to him, Liam offered a small smile.

“Good morning,” he greeted.

“Um, hi,” she said. “Question.”

“Yeah?”

“Um...is this the dead guy's locker?”

Liam had been expecting her to ask him a question about directions or her schedule or something-anything-but that, and he felt his smile immediately turn to a frown.

“Well, it looks like it's your locker now, doesn't it?” he replied, trying to keep his voice from sounding too cool.

“But _was_ it?” she pressed, clearly not bothered by his tone regardless.

“That was Zayn's locker, yeah,” he answered her. A smile broke across her face.

“That's awesome.”

To his honor, Liam did not lose his shit on her for inadvertently calling Zayn's death 'awesome.'

 

“Hey, um, excuse me again?”

Liam knew he shouldn't be too picky on who he befriended, as he had no friends, but he still hadn't planned to talk to the new girl that had Zayn's locker ever again. She, apparently, had other ideas.

“Yeah?” Liam asked, because he wasn't rude.

“Did you see anyone besides me go into my locker?”

“No. Why?”

“I think someone broke into it.”

“Is something missing?” Liam asked, hoping it wasn't obvious that he was beginning to think this bird to be nuts.

“Just my lipstick.”

Liam raised an eyebrow.

“You think someone broke into your locker just for your lipstick?”

“It was an expensive brand!” she defended.

“Maybe it will turn up,” Liam offered helplessly. The girl groaned.

“But I need it!”

“You look fine without it.”

The new student narrowed her eyes.

“I have a boyfriend,” she said. Liam shut his locker door.

“Wasn't hitting on you,” he muttered as he turned away. “I'm gay.”

“Wait!” the girl called as Liam began walking to class. “What do I do about my locker?”

“Nothing,” Liam called over his shoulder, though he halted. “Maybe ghost Zayn just borrowed it for a bit.”

“Ghost?” she asked.

“Have fun!” Liam called, and he felt mean, but he couldn't help the smile on his face.

From the near distance, he heard the girl rushing to get her things and flee.

The joke was on him, though, when he found a tube of lipstick in his locker. For a long time, all he could do was stare because he could come up with no logical explanation as to how that would have ended in his possession.

Soon, he stopped searching for an explanation and worked on coming up with an excuse as to why he had the lipstick. In the end, he told the girl, Melanie, that he had found it on the ground not too far away, and she was so excited that she accepted it with no question.

On the way out, Louis told Liam to have a good weekend. It was definitely a weird day.

Liam remembered to take Zayn's sketchbook home that night and, though he wanted to look at it, he was terrified of tarnishing it, so instead, he put it on the top of his closet for safe keeping.

 

That weekend seemed to be all that the popular kids needed to finish healing and move on from Zayn's accident because they were in full swing again on Monday. Darren was back to stretching out his legs right when Liam needed to walk by his desk. Tony undershot and hit him with a basketball in gym class and Alex was back to conveniently needing to push by Liam in the cafeteria-of course bumping into him rather roughly in the process.

Luckily, Liam hadn't been too hungry that day and so all he had was a simple bottle of water; no tray that could be knocked out of his hands, forcing him to go around school with barbecue sauce on his shirt. (That was, until Zayn had spotted him and lent him a spare shirt he kept in his locker for such occasions. The shirt had been tight on Liam and he feared stretching it out, but Zayn assured him not to worry about it and even said that it suited Liam more anyway.)

Zayn really had been such a great guy.

“What's that?” Alex asked, stopping dead in his tracks after knocking into Liam as he eyed the water bottle he had in his hands. Liam wanted desperately to give a sarcastic remark back, but he knew he probably didn't have the balls and, anyway, Alex didn't give him time.

“Are you on a liquid diet?” the bully asked. “Trying to trim up?”

The other boy moved as to poke Liam's stomach, but Liam moved out of the way, and Alex didn't have time to punish him for that before they were interrupted.

“Oi, Al, leave him alone, will you?”

“Harry!” Alex exclaimed when he turned around to find the other student walking towards them. Liam didn't have to be able to see Alex's face to know that he was wearing a big, fake smile to go along with his falsely cheery voice. “How are you, Haz? How are the twink and the leprechaun? Getting along alright without your ring leader, are you?”

“You're so funny,” Harry remarked sarcastically. “Isn't it boring being a dick all of the time?”

“Not really.”

Harry rolled his eyes.

“Just leave Liam alone; and everyone else. You might not be boring yourself, but you're boring us.”

Liam could see Alex's back muscles tense under his shirt as he tried to create a good comeback quickly in his head, but it was then that Louis approached, giving Alex new material to work with.

“What's going on?” Harry's boyfriend asked, innocently curious.

“Hey, it's twink!” Alex exclaimed with that same, fake-excited voice. “Hi, twink! We were just talking about you!”

Louis looked, confused, between Alex and Harry. Liam had thought the three had been on good terms and, apparently, so had Louis.

“Ignore him,” Harry told his boyfriend. “He's being even more dick-ish than usual today.”

“The bigger the dick, the better, am I right, twink?” Alex asked.

“Why are you calling me that?” Louis replied, the hurt evident in his voice.

“Ignore him, love,” Harry said, slipping his hand into the other's. “Let's go. Come on, Liam.”

“Hold on,” Alex spoke as the couple began to turn and Liam's mind raced, trying to decide whether he should follow or not. “I have a question for Lou; a serious one. Given I want to study psychology and all, I'm really interested.”

“What is it?” Louis asked, hesitant. Harry was shooting warning glares at Alex, his nostrils flaring, and while Liam would have been intimidated by it, Alex appeared to not pay any notice.

“How does it feel?” Alex asked Louis, who only looked more confused.

“How does what feel? Being gay?”

“No, silly,” Alex laughed. “How does it feel to know that you were supposed to be the designated driver that night? That if you had stuck to your one drink claim instead of getting wasted enough to pass out in Richie's bathroom, then Zayn wouldn't have had to go out and get crushed inside of his car by a pole?”

Before Louis even had a chance to react, Harry was lunging at Alex. He was a mere inch away from punching his face in when Louis yelled 'no' and pulled him back. Alex laughed.

“Cheers, mates,”

“I'm gonna kill him. It's gonna happen,” Harry said, slightly pulling against Louis's grip as the bully walked off, still chuckling to himself.

“No you're not,” Louis said, and though his eyes were moist, his voice was steady and firm. “Come on. Let's just...go.”

Giving in, albeit unhappily, Harry allowed Louis to lead him away, turning only to motion for Liam to follow, which he did.

“You alright, mates?” Niall asked once they reached his table. He wrapped Louis and Harry into a hug, probably sensing that they weren't alright, and then he clapped Liam on the shoulder once breaking away from the other two.

“Liam, have a seat, man,” Niall offered, patting the spot next to him when he, Louis and Harry had sat down and Liam remained standing. Obediently, Liam took a seat.

“What happened?” Niall asked.

“Tell you later,” Harry replied, glancing to his boyfriend, who snapped,

“No! Just tell him now! It's not like he said anything that wasn't true.”

“Lou…,” Harry began, but then only sighed and told Niall everything that had just happened. By the time he ended, Niall had been shaking his head for a while, clearly angry.

“Louis, it isn't your fault,” Niall said. “Zayn told us all to have fun; that he would come get us if we needed him to.”

“I should have stayed sober,” Louis said.

“You know, you were drunk before the two of us. We could have stepped up to be the driver and we didn't, so if you're to blame, then so are we.”

“No, you're not.”

“Or blame Richie. He could have let you sleep it off, but no, we had to gt out _right then_.”

“It's not Richie's fault.”

“Okay, that's true, but it's not yours either.”

Liam would bet money that Louis would have gone on blaming himself if given the chance, but their attention was drawn away by a yell, a crash and then several people laughing and hollering.

“Which one of you fuckers pushed me?!” the group heard Alex yell and, a moment later, they saw him emerging from the inside of a trash can, a cliché banana peel sliding down his shoulder.

“Oh, shit,” Harry said, delighted, and then he let out a loud cackle. Niall cackled along with him, Liam giggled and even Louis was grinning from ear to ear.

“Seriously, someone pushed me and someone better tell me who the fuck it was before-”

“No one was near you, mate,” someone else yelled. “You're tripping...literally.”

More laughs and screams of pleasure filled the place as a couple of teachers ran forward to diffuse the situation.

“That's amazing!” Harry breathed, wiping a tear once Alex was ushered from the lunch room and no longer in sight.

“Karma, I'm telling you,” Niall said.

Liam, still smiling, broke his attention from Niall to focus on whoever had approached behind Louis, except when he turned his full attention to the slim figure, it was gone. His smile faltered a little as goosebumps covered his arms again, but he quickly pushed the happening from his mind. Or, he pretended to, at least.

 

Once lunch was over, Liam thanked Harry for coming to help him and apologized for everything that had happened after. Harry told him he had nothing to worry about and said that he would see him soon.

 

As Liam rummaged through his closet that night, trying to find a decent outfit for the next day (because yeah, he was the kid who picked out his clothes the night before to make sure they weren't wrinkled; so what?) Zayn's sketchbook seemed to be calling to him from its safe spot on the top shelf. It wasn't, of course, but the bright green cover appeared brighter than normal, distracting Liam from everything except the book and its many pages of art.

Basically, Liam was too curious for his own good.

Luckily, his logic (that was what Liam insisted it was) won in the end. Liam would ruin something if he looked at the book, surely. He would rip a page or scratch the cover or spill something on it (even though he had no liquid in the room). Obviously, as the owner of the book was dead, no one would even know if one of those things did occur, but Liam felt as if tarnishing that part of Zayn would somehow tarnish his memory too.

Quickly, Liam closed his closet doors and pulled something from his dresser instead. Once his chosen outfit was laid out carefully on the side of the bed that was never touched while he slept, Liam laid down on top of the sheets and allowed his mind to wander to mysterious figures and the feeling that an invisible person had been watching him.

 

Though Liam had crept himself out that night, imagining different, terrible things that his recent, strange occurrences could mean, he had all but forgotten about them the next day. There was really no time to dwell on something that could very well be in his head and harmless when he had the likes of Tony, Alex and Darren to face.

Luckily, the only thing Liam had been pestered with by his fourth class-which was actually just his study period-was Darren calling him 'lame-o' again, and, really, Liam was immune to that nickname by then.

Liam was marveling by what an easy day it had been so far as he took a bathroom break, and he hummed to himself as he washed his hands, completely alone in the bathroom, or so he thought.

It was only when he turned off the water that he heard a low chuckle echoing off the walls. His face immediately turning an unhealthy shade of red, Liam whipped around, small droplets of water flying off of his soaked hands. The laughter ceased as Liam's heart pounded. Whoever the chuckle had belonged to must have been in one of the stalls, and Liam was torn between calling out to them or just taking what was left of his pride and running.

Before he could make a decision, the person spoke.

“Liam?” they said, sounding unsure and so quiet that Liam wasn't even positive they had actually said anything at all.

“Yeah?” he called back anyway, clearing his throat and wondering why he sounded so scared. Getting caught humming was hardly the worst thing that could happen to a person, but was it really that which he was afraid of anymore?

This time, Liam received no reply.

“Hello?” he asked, wiping his hands on his shirt while walking slowly over to the stalls. He made his way up and down the line, studying each stall carefully, but all of the doors were open; not one person in any of them.

And there were the goosebumps again.

Liam was so concentrated on getting the hell away from the bathroom that he couldn't halt himself in time and ran directly into Tony as the other boy entered.

“Whoa, ew, get off me,” Tony said, holding up his hands. Instinctively, Liam backed up.

“Sor-sorry, he breathed, wondering how easily Tony would let him run by him, because he just needed to get away from this bathroom.

“What's your problem?” Tony asked, looking at Liam with sheer disgust. “The fuck were you doing in here?”

 _Having a psychiatric break, apparently,_ Liam answered, only in his mind. On the outside, he remained silent.

“I said something to you!” Tony snapped, grabbing onto Liam's shoulders tightly despite the fact that he hadn't wanted to touch him only moments ago. “What the fuck were you doing in here, you weird-”

Just like that, Tony cut himself off, letting go of Liam to whip around so fast that he stumbled a bit. For a few long seconds, he stayed like that, his fists in tight balls behind his back. Then, he turned back to Liam, looking angry, but mostly afraid.

“Who was that?” he asked.

“Who was what?” Liam asked curiously.

“Don't play dumb with me! I know you're a fucking honors student!”

Liam raised an eyebrow, confused. Tony didn't leave him hanging for long.

“Who tapped my shoulder?” he asked.

“No one…,” Liam answered, knowing it wasn't the answer Tony wanted, but unable to give any other.

“Stop fucking around! Was it Styles?”

“Styles?” Liam asked, feeling as if he should know who the other boy was talking about.

“Harry,” Tony explained impatiently.

“Oh. No. It wasn't Harry. I swear, I didn't see anyone.”

“How could you not see anyone?!” Tony, nearing hysteria, shouted, gripping Liam's arms again, so tightly that Liam gasped in both shock and pain. Of course, Tony didn't care, and he'd just reopened his mouth, no doubt to spew more threats and insults, but then he winced, his shoulders tensing, before he turned around again.

“Who's there?!” he called. Liam didn't tell him that he was yelling at nobody.

“I'm not done with you,” Tony told Liam, pointing at him warningly for a moment before he fled the bathroom in search for someone that he was never going to find. Liam hoped that some innocent kid nearby didn't get blamed for...whatever that was.

Although Liam had enjoyed seeing Tony freaking out, he still was uneasy himself, so after giving the bathroom one last quick glance to verify that no trickster had made their way in, he went back to class.

 

Harry found Liam before lunch that day and insisted he sit with him, Louis and Niall. Liam was still a little suspicious as to why the trio were suddenly so keen on him hanging out with them, but he let himself hope that their intentions were pure.

 

The good thing about Liam's bladder being on a strict 'pee fourth class' schedule was that the study hall monitor simply handed Liam the bathroom pass as soon as he entered the room. Liam would thank him, put his stuff at his seat and be on his way, wanting to hurry so that no one suspected him of doing anything weird, as Tony had the previous day.

Even though he was having another fairly decent day, Liam was careful not to hum while washing his hands.

“Liam?”

No, Liam definitely did not just hear his name, he told himself. If he refused to acknowledge the voices, it meant that he wasn't crazy, right?

Right.

“Liam!”

Nope, nope, nope. That still wasn’t his name that Liam heard. It was just the faucet making weird noises; that was it.

Yep. Totally it.

It took Liam awhile to find the courage to turn the water off which, okay, wasn't exactly sane person behavior, but was still better than hearing voices.

To Liam's pleasure, all was silent when he finally did turn the water off and he dried his hands on a paper towel quickly before tossing the sheet in the bin and turning to make a beeline out of there. Except when he turned, he saw that he wasn't alone because there, standing only a few feet from Liam, was Zayn. Beautiful Zayn, who was supposed to be dead, but was standing there, looking very much alive, sans for the fact that Liam could see the wall behind him; through him.

Liam screamed, causing Zayn to jump, and later Liam would find humor and even pride in the fact that he'd scared a ghost, but then, all Liam could focus on was running.

“Hey! Slow down in the halls! Kid!” an instructor shouted as Liam bolted by him, but he didn't even pay the guy any notice. He ran and kept running until he was standing outside his class, breathing heavily, his hands on his knees.

After a minute or so, Liam finally calmed enough to not think he was having a heart attack, and he stood straight, still breathing unevenly. He kept his eyes downcast, afraid that if he looked up, Zayn, or whatever that thing was, would be in front of him.

But when Liam did finally get the courage to glance up ever so quickly, he was alone.

When he entered the classroom and handed the instructor the bathroom pass, Liam was shaking, but nobody seemed to notice.

 _Okay, it's time to really think about what just happened,_ Liam said in his head as he took his seat. There was clearly only one explanation; Liam had lost all shreds of sanity that he had ever had. Before then, he'd thought of himself as a pretty stable person, but he had apparently been wrong about that because, yeah, he'd had a massive crush on Zayn for three years and was irrationally upset when he died, but he shouldn't have been so devastated that he was now seeing the dead guy's image in the bathroom.

Unless, of course, Zayn actually was a ghost now, but no, that was ridiculous. It wasn't that Liam didn't believe in ghosts, because he did, but he was sure that if Zayn's spirit had yet to move on to whatever afterlife awaited him and he was stuck between Earth and Heaven, or whatever, then he would have much better things to do than call out Liam's name and watch him wash his hands in the bathroom.

Yep, Liam had to have just been losing his mind.

Then again, Tony had felt someone tap his shoulder in that bathroom; someone that wasn't there, but maybe Tony was just crazy too.

Alex swore that someone had pushed him into that trashcan, Liam reminded himself next. Of course, he could just be saying that to ease some of the humiliation, but what if he wasn't?

No. Liam and Tony were just crazy and Alex, embarrassed. That was the easiest explanation, and wasn't the easiest usually the correct one?

When the bell rang, dismissing the students from their current class, Liam was so startled that he jumped and rather audibly gasped. He ignored the many stares and giggles he received. There wasn't any time to worry about that when he'd probably be locked in as asylum at any given time.

 

Liam entered the bathroom slowly the next day during fourth period. Belatedly, it occurred to him to use a different restroom, but too late now.

To his relief, there was no dead boy waiting for him, but while peeing, Liam couldn't help but wonder if Zayn could see him.

 _Of course he can't, you block head_ , Liam chastised himself. _He's dead and only a figment of your imagination; not a ghost._

Liam washed his hands quickly once he was through and then, though he hadn't heard or seen a single thing he shouldn't have, he ran from the bathroom and back to class, smiling as he sat down in his seat. Maybe he wasn't crazy after all. Maybe the voice he'd heard yesterday had been someone outside of the bathroom; the figure a trick of the light.

Tony was still crazy, though.

After that, Liam felt much better. He sat with Harry, Louis and Niall at lunch again and even occasionally joined in on their conversation. They seemed to actually be interested in what he was saying and asked his opinion on things, even if they weren't.

 

As he entered the bathroom the day after, Liam barely gave any thought to that which had frightened him so much the past couple of days, meaning that he was caught completely off guard when he turned to throw his paper towels in the rubbish bin and came face-to-face with Zayn again.

“No!” the figure cried in his slightly echoed voice as Liam opened his mouth to scream, and the next thing he knew, Zayn rushed forward in a blur, disappearing as something that felt like an ice block chilled Liam to the bone. The scream was taken out of his throat; a tiny gasp the only thing to make its way out, and when Liam turned again, Zayn was standing on his other side, his eyes as wide as a deer caught in the headlights.

“Did you just...Did you walk through me?” Liam asked (and great, now he was talking to a dead boy), his voice a mere whisper.

“Sorry,” the other replied, and Liam thought he was really done for now that the deceased was talking back to him. “But if you screamed, I would have to leave again.”

“You should leave!” Liam said. _Yeah, Liam, you tell this schizophrenia-induced image._ “You shouldn't be here!”

Zayn, or whatever this thing that looked like him was, appeared hurt by the words, a frown appearing on his face as his eyes grew smaller and his shoulders drooped.

“Oh,” he said. “I thought that since you could see me, that you were open to...Okay, never mind.”

“No! Just go away!” Liam commanded. “I don't need you! I am a strong person and I can fight you myself! I don't need any pills or shrinks, no sir, I-”

“Pills?” the Zayn-thing repeated, one eyebrow raised in what looked like amusement. “Shrinks? What are you on about? Liam, do you think you're hallucinating?”

“You're not real,” Liam spoke softly, feeling suddenly as if he was losing all progress he had briefly made in regaining his sanity.

“Oh, I'm not?” Zayn asked, mocking Liam. Suddenly, Liam was quite jealous of those lucky people who were crazy without knowing it because this was terrifying and infuriating at the same time. Pathetically, the only thing that Liam could think to do then was whimper. In his head, he weighed the option of curling up into a ball and letting someone find him and carry him off to the insane asylum.

“You're not crazy, Liam,” Zayn spoke again. “Or maybe you are. I don't know you that well.”

Zayn winked-actually fucking winked-and it really shouldn't have been so hot, seeing as he was dead and all.

“If I'm truly not real, you wouldn't feel this.”

For the second time, Zayn rushed forward, walking through Liam, who let out another gasp of shock.

“Will you stop doing that?!” he asked, turning on his heel to face Zayn again. Out of all the ways he'd ever imagined Zayn being inside of him, that was never one of them.

“I'm a ghost,” Zayn said matter-of-factly. “It's what I do.”

“You're not a ghost,” Liam said. “Ghostly apparitions don't last this long.”

“Oh, I didn't realize you were a ghost expert,” Zayn said. “Maybe you can explain some things to me, as I'm new to this whole thing myself.”

“I'm not a ghost expert,” Liam said, angry that even figments of his broken imagination mocked him so much. “It's just common knowledge.”

“It's actually a common misconception then,” Zayn said. “We _can_ last this long, apparently, but most ghosts probably don't want to because it's draining, to be honest.”

“Draining? How can you get tired if you're a ghost?”

Zayn gave a small laugh, the noise, like his voice, seeming to come from somewhere in the distance, yet still clear.

“You have a lot of questions, understandably,” Zayn said instead of answering. “For now, I'm guessing you've been away from your class for a while. Perhaps you should be getting back?”

“Hold on; I need you to prove to me that you're not just a product of my apparent insanity.”

“Tomorrow,” the apparition decided after briefly contemplating the request.

“Why tomorrow?” Liam wondered aloud.

“Tomorrow,” the figure repeated before disappearing. Liam, however, stayed in the same place, staring at the wall and wondering if he'd just had a vivid hallucination or if all of that had just happened.

He figured he would find out tomorrow.

The Zayn thing was right about one thing, though; he had been away from his classroom for quite some time, so Liam physically and mentally shook himself and then made his way hurriedly back.

“Sorry, I-” he began, trying to come up with an excuse as fast as his mouth could work, but his instructor held up a hand, stopping him.

“I don't need to know,” he stated. Not sure what to make of that, Liam simply nodded and went back to his seat.

 

“Liam, you okay, mate?” Niall asked, waving a hand in front of the other's face as he gazed off into the distance during lunch. Liam could hardly remember his legs carrying him to the table and wondered for an instant when sitting with Niall, Louis and Harry became second nature or when he had become a 'mate.'

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Liam replied, coming halfway back into it and lifting his milk carton to take a sip. He missed the straw three times, but he still noticed the look the others gave each other.

“Did something happen?” Louis asked, while Harry said,

“Do I need to have words with someone?”

“No,” Liam said, choking out a laugh. “Sorry, I'm just tired.”

“Didn't sleep well last night?” Harry asked. Liam shook his head, successfully taking a drink from his milk on the first try.

“At least tomorrow is Friday,” Niall said. “We just have to make it through one more day and then we have the weekend!”

Niall did a little dance in his seat, but the others didn't join in.

“Speaking of the weekend; Liam, what are you doing this Saturday?” Louis asked.

“Um...nothing,” Liam said, making it look like he had to think about the question for at least a moment so they all wouldn't know that he never had plans.

“Then you should totally come with us to Harry's dad's cabin down by the lake!”

“Yeah, you totally should!” Harry agreed, but his eyes were so wide and his facial expression so eager that he had to be putting it on.

“I don't know,” Liam said, kind of wanting to go, but not wanting to tag along with a group who was nice, but didn't really want him.

“Come on; it will be fun,” Harry said, smiling but looking less manic. “It will only be for one night. We usually go for the whole weekend, but Lou got himself grounded until Saturday...”

“Sorry,” Louis said half-heartedly.

“Are you sure?” Liam asked the group, though was looking at Harry.

“Of course,” the curly-headed teen said. “It would be weird with only three people. Not that that's why we're inviting you, but...yeah. It would be great if you came.”

Liam nearly asked who the fourth person that usually went was before his brain started working and he realized it was more than likely Zayn. He probably wouldn't be as much fun as the other boy would have been, but Liam told the trio that he would ask his mom anyway.

“Ace,” Louis said. “Here, I'll give you my number so you can text me what she says...Wait, you can't text me.”

“I'll give you mine,” Harry said, and did just that. Louis and Niall gave Liam their numbers as well, just because. Liam was quite embarrassed of himself by how excited he was to program three peoples' digits into his phone; people that weren't family or partners for a teacher-paired group project.

 

Most parents would require more information than 'my friend's dad's cabin by a lake' when their child asked permission to go somewhere over night, but Liam's mom was just so excited that he had a friend that she said yes immediately. Liam decided to be happy about that instead of focusing on how sad it actually was. It was even sadder because Liam wasn't sure the other boys could actually be considered his 'friends.'

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked cautiously as he entered the bathroom at his regular time the next day. He received no reply and appeared to be alone in the bathroom.

“Zayn, it's tomorrow.”

Nothing.

Sighing, Liam took care of business, trying to come to terms with the fact that he was probably crazy after all as he did so.

When Liam returned to the classroom, he pulled out his English book and began his homework, deciding to just live life normally until he completely cracked and was taken away. Maybe being in a hospital wouldn't be so bad. There was always someone to talk to and he would no doubt be placed on some good drugs.

The sound of a heavy book hitting the tile floor caused Liam to jump and instinctively look up. He didn't bother looking to see where the noise came from, though, until he heard a second book drop and then a third.

“What the fuck?!” a boy in the back yelled as screams filled the classroom. A couple of students even ran out the door and Liam was confused until yet another piece of literature fell and he directed his gaze to the bookshelf, which no one was even near, at the front of the room.

“Calm down!” the instructor demanded, though he was anything but calm himself; backed up as far as he could get against the wall. “Who is doing this?!”

The answer, unsurprising to Liam, was Zayn, who appeared quite literally out of thin air. Holding a finger to his lips, he gave Liam a wink before vanishing, laying the small globe on top of the shelf onto its side for good measure.

It was a good thing everybody was too freaked out to notice Liam smiling because surely, he would have been somehow blamed.

 

“Zayn!” Liam called again as he entered the bathroom after the teacher had dismissed them. That time, Zayn formed in front of him, looking quite proud of himself, as he should have been. “That was great!” Liam said, and he would have high-fived him if it had been possible.

“So do you believe I'm not a hallucination now?” the ghost asked. Liam nodded.

“But how...Why...”

Liam paused, shaking his head as if that could help him collect his thoughts, before continuing.

“Can you not move on? I mean...do you need help?”

“No. I can move on,” Zayn said. “I just don't want to yet.”

The way Zayn spoke wasn't necessarily sad, but the words made Liam frown anyway.

“It's okay to move on,” he said, his voice soft. “You deserve peace.”

Zayn laughed, which mildly offended Liam, but he didn't say as much.

“Thanks, mate, but I'm having too much fun scaring people and such.”

“But why would you choose to stay at school out of all places?” Liam asked. “Or are you stuck here? If so, I'm really sorry.”

“I'm not stuck,” Zayn said. “I just have...attachments...here.”

“Attachments?”

“Yeah.”

Zayn didn't offer anymore information, so Liam dropped the subject. He wouldn't have had a chance to anyway because the bell rang, sending a strong burst of panic through him.

“I'm late,” he announced.

“Go to class,” Zayn said.

“Will you be here whenever I come back?”

“Probably. It's not like I have anywhere to be.”

“You can be anywhere than at school,” Liam muttered and then quickly said, “I'll see you soon.”

“Okay. Have a nice class, Liam.”

“Thanks. Have a nice...um...afternoon.”

Zayn smiled, a small laugh following it, but his image faded almost immediately afterward and the noise went with it.

Liam was pretty sure he shouldn't have felt so empty without the ghost there, but even so, he couldn't help but smile. A ghost wasn't the same as having a living, breathing person there, obviously, but it was still basically Zayn, and he and Liam had communicated more now that he was dead than before.

Suddenly, Liam remembered that he was late for class, so after saying goodbye to the empty bathroom-just in case it wasn't so empty after all-he hurried off. Luckily, since he was typically a good, punctual student, the professor let him off after an, 'I'm sorry.'

Lunch was next, and Liam wasn't really hungry anyway, so instead of going to the cafeteria, he headed to the bathroom. He wondered why, out of all the places in the school, Zayn chose to stay in the disgusting bathroom. Of course, he was still wondering why, out of all the places in the world, Zayn would stay at school. Liam couldn't imagine being attached to anything enough to spend even a second of his afterlife there.

There was a kid-a living one-washing his hands when Liam entered, so he pretended to be using the toilet until he heard him leave. He gave a quick check to verify for sure that he was alone after and then, excited, he called out softly,

“Zayn?”

No one spoke to him and no one appeared. Liam frowned. Had Zayn left after all? Or decided that he didn't actually want to talk to Liam?

“Zayn, are you here?” Liam asked, trying one last time. Nothing. He was about to give up when motion from the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned quickly. Zayn wasn't there and it took Liam a moment to realize that anything was out of the ordinary.

“That's not creepy or anything,” he commented, noting the word 'here' written on the mirror in red. Someone began laughing and, soon, Zayn was in front of Liam a few feet away with a smile on his face.

“Is that Melanie's lipstick?” Liam asked. Zayn's smile grew.

“Maybe,” he said.

“Just don't put it in my locker this time, okay? I really don't want to be suspended for snatching a girl's lipstick. I can only imagine how Alex and them will be if they think I'm gay...Which I am, but still.”

“You're gay?” Zayn asked in a way that made Liam grow nervous.

“Um, yeah,” he said hesitantly.

“It's cool,” Zayn assured him. “Me too.”

“You were gay?”

“Still am. Can you imagine dying and suddenly being forced to carry on as a straight ghost?”

Zayn shuddered dramatically, causing Liam to smile in that ridiculous way that he hated. He fought hard to get his face back to normal.

“Is that why you stay in the toilets? Because that's even creepier than you writing on the mirror.”

“No,” Zayn said with a smile. “I don't sneak a peek or anything, don't worry.”

Liam's phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out to see a text from Niall.

 _Where are you?_ It read. _Are you really making me sit by myself with the love birds?_

There was a gif of a puking smiley face attached and Liam gave a short laugh as he replied to Niall that he had homework for the next class he forgot to finish but good luck. When he turned his attention back to Zayn, the ghost had a curious expression on his face.

“Sorry,” Liam said. “Niall.”

“Have you been hanging out with them then?”

“I mean we've only been sitting together at lunch, but I'm supposed to go to Harry's dad's cabin this weekend.”

Liam regretted those words immediately. Zayn had continued to smile, but the sadness that took place on his face was undeniable.

“Uh..sorry,” Liam apologized awkwardly.

“No, I'm glad you're going,” Zayn assured him. “I might even join you.”

“You can do that?”

“Well, yeah. I can travel easier now than before. I've already been to Italy.”

“...How?”

“I don't know. I just think of a place and I'm there.”

“Oh,” Liam said, like that made any sense at all. Then, he added, “How was it?”

“Italy?”

“Yeah.”

“It was nice.”

“That's good. I've kind of always wanted to go.”

“Hit me up when you die. I'll take you.”

 _Great,_ Liam thought. _So I just have to die before I have a date with Zayn Malik._

“Try not to die anytime soon, though,” Zayn spoke again. “Italy is nice, but not quite enough to meet an untimely demise for.”

“I'll do my best,” Liam said. “Oh, um, how are you dealing with being um...”

“Dead?” Zayn prompted.

“A ghost.”

Zayn opened his mouth to speak, but then froze, his eyes shifting as he concentrated on something.

“Someone is coming,” he said. “I have to go. I'll see you at the cabin, yeah?”

Just like that, Zayn was gone. Liam checked behind him to be sure, but he wasn't there. Already, Liam seemed to be getting used to these paranormal experiences, and he kept calm as he left the bathroom, deciding to just get to class early.

As he sat in his seat, Liam realized that he was smiling.

 

Harry sent Liam a text that night to make sure he was still coming with them, and since he was, the three showed up at his place at nine the next morning. Niall went to his door to get him, but Liam was already ready and had said goodbye to his mom before she left to run errands, so the boys weren't left waiting.

“Hey, Liam,” Louis greeted after Liam had put his bag in the trunk and slid into the car with Louis at the wheel.

“Hey,” Liam said.

“Don't mind Maxwell,” Louis said.

“Who?”

“Hi, I'm Maxwell,” Niall spoke in a high-pitched cartoon voice, waving the arms of the teddy bear that Liam just noticed strapped into the middle seat.

“Oh. Hi, Maxwell…,” Liam greeted kindly.

“It's Zayn's,” Harry explained, an amused smile on his face as he turned his head to face the back. “Don't tell anyone, but he totally still had to sleep with a teddy bear.”

“Claimed it was more comfortable,” Niall said with an amused smile.

“I won't tell,” Liam promised, not mentioning that he found that new fact cute.

“Anyone hungry?” Louis asked.

“We just got on the road,” Harry said, his tone hinting that he thought his boyfriend was crazy.

“But it's Saturday!” Louis whined. “It's my cheat day!”

“You know, Lou,” Niall said, “if you took everything you eat on Saturdays and spread it out through the week, you would probably weigh the same.”

Louis spared a glance in the rear-view mirror to give Niall a glare that had him holding up his hands defensively.

“Go ahead and stop,” the exchange student said.

“Thank you,” Louis said sweetly. “I expect someone to eat with me.”

Despite the fact that they'd teased Louis over his desire for food already, Niall and Harry got something to eat as well, and Liam too.

“Why can't everyday be Saturday?” Louis sighed after savoring his bite of cinnamon roll.

“Why don't you just eat whatever you want, whenever you want?” Harry asked. Louis, stopped at a red light, turned his glare to him.

“Do you want me to look like I did in the middle of the summer?” he asked.

“I still loved you, didn't I? You're always beautiful to me.”

“Gross. Maxwell needs to throw up now,” Niall commented as the couple kissed.

“Fuck you, Maxwell,” Louis commented, driving as the light finally turned back to green. Niall held his drink carefully between his legs as he moved Maxwell's head into the empty food bag beside him, making loud, exaggerated retching noises. Liam laughed and, in turn, choked on his bite of sandwich.

“Great,” Louis commented once Liam had taken a drink and had himself under control. “His first time hanging out with us and we’re already going to kill him.”

 

Liam never minded long car rides, but that one flew by. There was either constant chatter or loud singing if one of the boys' favorite songs came on. Liam didn't sing along and only spoke when directly spoken to, but he was still having more fun than he had, probably ever, which was sad, but whatever.

“We're here!” Harry announced in a sing-song voice as his boyfriend pulled into the long, winding driveway. Liam tried to hide his awe, but this hadn't been what he imagined when he'd heard about a lakeside cabin. He most certainly hadn't expected a mini mansion, or something that appeared to be one, at least.

Louis parked and the boys unbuckled their seat belts-and Niall undid Maxwell's-and got out one by one. Louis stretched, making sounds of pleasure as his back cracked.

“Jesus,” Niall said, and then turned to Liam. “I'm sorry to tell you, but you will hear noises like that coming from both Louis and Harry tonight. I should have warned you to bring earphones.”

“I don't go anywhere without them,” Liam commented, taking his ipod and earphones out of his pocket to show Niall.

“Smart guy,” Niall said approvingly.

“You never hear us,” Harry said, throwing Niall's bag to him from the trunk. Expertly, Niall caught it with just one hand.

“Do too and I'm starting to think you like it.”

“Don't make Liam regret coming already,” Louis warned.

“It's fine,” Liam assured them.

 

“Hi, Gina!” Louis called as Harry opened the front door and they went inside.

“Oh, jeez,” Niall said, rolling his eyes before focusing on Liam. “Louis thinks this place is haunted because the last owner-a woman named Gina-drowned outside in the lake.”

“I've seen her!” Louis exclaimed.

“You don't believe in ghosts?” Liam asked Niall, looking around subtly for Zayn, but the boy didn't appear to be there or, if he was, he wasn't visible at the moment.

“Not really,” Niall said. “I'm not saying it's impossible, but I've never had experiences with them and I certainly don't believe Louis has either.”

“You're just scared,” Louis said as Harry commented,

“He could. I believe him.”

“No you don't,” Niall said to Harry and, to Louis, “and I'm not scared.”

 

“There are a couple of spare bedrooms besides the one Niall always gets,” Harry explained as the trio made their way upstairs. “You can fight him or pick one of the others.”

“It doesn't matter where I stay,” Liam said, admiring the many pictures that lined the walls of the stair well. Most appeared to be of Harry and his family (and Louis was in some of the family photos too, which was adorable) but many were of Harry and his friends. Niall, Louis and Zayn were the reoccurring faces, and even though it was sad, Liam could still look at the pictures and smile. That was, until he noticed the three others doing their best not to look at them at all and Harry's eyes turning red when he did catch a glimpse of one. Liam desperately wanted to tell them that Zayn wasn't really gone, not all the way, and that he may even visit the cabin sometime that weekend, but Liam wasn't dumb, so he kept his mouth shut.

 

After putting their bags in their room, the boys ran to the nearest store to get more than enough food for a day and a night, and then returned to the cabin.

“Told you we'd be back, Gina!” Louis called into the cabin.

“I promise my boyfriend isn't crazy,” Harry said to Liam.

“You said you believed me!” Louis exclaimed, true betrayal in his voice.

“Told you he didn't,” Niall said. Louis sighed.

“Zayn believed me,” he muttered.

“No he didn't,” Niall said.

“He saw her!”

“He was fucking with you.”

“Okay, we can all just believe whatever we believe,” Harry interrupted. “Now, what shall we do first?”

“Let's get in the lake,” Niall suggested.

“It's, like, sixty degrees,” Louis said incredulously.

“So?”

“We'll freeze our balls off!”

“The people in Titanic suffered much harsher temperatures than this.”

“Not all of them survived.”

“I didn't even bring swim stuff,” Harry said.

“So?” Niall said again.

“It's Autumn,” Louis pointed out. “Can't we, like, watch scary movies or something?”

“We're doing that tonight,” Harry said, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the lips.

“Well, I don't care what we do,” Niall spoke again as he made his way to a decorative tea kettle on the kitchen counter. “It's time to get fucked up. Anyone joining?”

Harry and Louis accepted immediately, but Liam said nothing, remaining torn as Niall pulled a ziplock bag filled with an illegal substance out from the kettle.

“Liam?” the blonde prompted when he received no reply from him.

“Oh, I'm good for now,” Liam said, his face feeling hot.

“You don't smoke, do you?” Harry asked, putting a joint in his mouth and reaching in Louis's back pocket for a lighter. Liam simply shrugged.

“Never?” Louis asked.

“I mean, I'm never really around that stuff, so...”

“It's okay,” Louis said, trying to ease Liam's obvious embarrassment. “There's nothing wrong with not doing it, but if you want to, here would be the place to try. We won't let you get into trouble.”

Louis winked and Liam gave a small, nervous smile.

“It's just weed,” Harry promised. “Nothing crazy really happens on it. You might eat an entire thing of crisps and cookies before falling asleep, but other than that, you'll be good.”

“Hey, let him shotgun someone,” Niall said.

“What?” Liam asked.

“It's where someone takes a hit and then blows the smoke into your mouth,” Louis explained. “Come here.”

Obediently, Liam took a few steps forward so that he was directly in front of Louis.

“Whoa, careful,” Niall warned. “Harry might get jealous.”

“I'm not the jealous type,” Harry said. Niall snorted.

“It's going to be fine,” Louis said to Liam soothingly.

“So what do I have to do?” Liam questioned, feeling dumb, but asking was better than making a fool out of himself by taking the hit, or whatever it was called, wrong.

“Okay, make a tunnel with your hands like this-”

“I think the kissing method would be easier for his first time,” Niall piped in.

“You nasty wanker, you just want to see some action,” Louis said. “Make a tunnel like this, Liam.”

Liam did as Louis was showing him.

“Good,” Louis said. “I'm going to take a hit and then blow it through my end. Suck it through your end and hold as long as you can.”

“Okay,” Liam said, hoping he didn't look or sound as nervous as he felt. He guessed he did because Louis said,

“It's going to be alright. Cross my heart.”

Niall and Harry watched intently and cheered when Liam finally had to give in to the cough that had been building in his lungs ever since the smoke entered his throat.

“That was amazing for your first time!” Harry exclaimed.

“Whoa,” Liam said.

“Feeling it?” Louis asked with a smile.

“I don't know,” Liam replied. “My head feels a little funny, but I don't really feel that much different.”

“Just wait,” Harry said, and so Liam did. It didn't take long. The other boys finished their joints and gathered some snacks, and then they were all off to go lounge in front of the television and play a card game; “Go Fish,” as Louis insisted.

Liam was in the hallway when the wall started shaking.

“Um…,” he hummed, stopping to stare at the strange and slightly frightening phenomenon. Harry snorted.

“I think he's feeling it, guys.”

“Are you sure that was only weed?” Liam asked.

“Promise,” Niall said.

“Everyone has different reactions,” Louis explained. “Some people see things. It's also your first time.”

“Louis's been doing it for years and he still sees things,” Niall said. “Hence; Gina.”

“I see Gina when I'm not high, you dumb shit.”

“Just relax,” Harry said to Liam. “We wouldn't give you anything that was going to hurt you. Enjoy this feeling. It really is amazing.”

Liam nodded, trying to do as Harry said and relax as he allowed Niall to grab his arm and lead him away from the shaking wall.

The card game helped Liam to relax, and he wasn't sure that they were playing correctly or reading the right numbers at all, but it was still fun. In fact, it was a lot of fun. He couldn't stop laughing.

“Yay! He's having fun!” Niall exclaimed, falling to the side as he pulled Liam into a hug.

“Do you want your own now?” Louis asked. Liam only had to think about it for a moment before nodding eagerly. Louis nodded right along with him, which was hilarious, of course.

“We should have invited him along a while ago,” Louis said as he stood slowly to his feet. “Zayn would have loved him.”

“Zayn _did_ love him,” Niall spoke. Louis laughed. Harry snorted. Liam couldn't blame them. The thought of Zayn ever loving him was pretty hilarious, so Liam laughed too.

Louis made his way to the kitchen and returned only moments later with a joint, which he handed to Liam.

Sadly, Liam couldn't stop himself from choking the whole way through, but Niall rubbed his back and assured him that he did a good job. Liam felt so amazing that he didn't even care if the boy was being sarcastic or not.

 

“Liam, still with us, mate?”

“Huh?” Liam asked, lifting his head from the floor and blinking his bleary eyes. He wasn't sure who had spoken to him, and he also wasn't sure when he'd decided to lay down.

“You good?” a very odd colored Harry asked, a very wide smile on his face.

“Yeah!” Liam answered. “I'm good!”

“Just making sure,” Harry said. “You closed your eyes and got real still for a minute. Thought you overdosed.”

“You can't overdose on this stuff, moron,” Niall spoke.

“Stop!” Liam scolded, trying to swallow his giggle. “You all are so mean to each other! I thought you were supposed to be friends!”

“Yeah!” Harry agreed in the same whiny tone of voice that Liam had been using. “Aren't we friends, Niall?”

Niall simply snorted in response, but instead of being offended, Harry laughed too. That got Liam's laugh going and they went from there; laughing until their sides hurt.

“Oh, shit,” Liam breathed, rolling over, thinking that maybe he could stop laughing if he couldn't see the others' faces. When he turned, he rolled directly into someone, though all he could see were the stitches of their jeans.

“Whoa,” Liam breathed, jolting a little. “Sorry, mate. Didn't know you were there.”

“Who the bloody hell are you talking to?” Harry questioned as Liam patted the mystery person's leg.

“Them,” Liam answered, and then his slow mind finally put the pieces together and realized that it had to be Louis, as Liam didn't recall seeing him just moments ago, so he added, “Your boyfriend.”

“Lou is in the toilet,” Niall said, a hint of judgment in his tone that Liam didn't quite like.

“Well, who is this then?!” he snapped, looking up lazily to face the stranger, except when he saw that it wasn't a stranger at all, but Zayn, he jumped again.

“Are you seeing Gina?” Niall teased, but Liam didn't answer; just smiled up at Zayn, who was also grinning while holding a finger to his lips to shush the other man.

“We need to get Lou out here and tell him. He'll be so excited,” Harry said.

“He's been gone a while,” Niall commented. “Shouldn't we go check on him anyway?”

“I'm sure he's fine,” Harry said. “Probably just got fascinated by the shower curtain again!”

“I can hear you!” a loud, but lazy voice called, and as footsteps audibly made their way closer, Zayn faded away. Liam frowned, nearly calling out to him before realizing that would be a terrible idea.

“Did you really see Gina, Li?” Louis asked, sounding hopeful.

“I saw something,” Liam told him, rolling back over to face the others again.

“Cool,” Louis said with a smile, and then, “Hey, Li! Come here! You need to check out this awesome shower curtain!”

Liam rose to his feet slowly and, moving as if he were floating, followed Louis into the bathroom.

“Whoa,” Liam commented in agreement, staring admiringly at the many colored fish against the light blue background of the curtain.

“If you stare long enough, they move,” Louis whispered, and so the boys stood there gazing at the fish to test the (true) theory.

For dinner, the boys ordered pizza, despite having stocked up on groceries, and got it for delivery. After much debate, they decided that two larges, two things of bread sticks and two desserts would suffice.

“This is bad, even for my cheat day,” Louis commented as he took his fourth bread stick and third slice of pizza.

“Shut the fuck up about your cheat days, Jesus Christ” Harry said under his breath, and looked alarmed when the others gaped at him. Liam guessed they weren’t supposed to hear.

“I like my cheat days!” Louis said tearfully, throwing down his piece of pizza and messing with the napkin in front of him angrily.

“Babe, I'm sorry,” Harry said, moving quicker than any of them had all afternoon to sit facing forward on his boyfriend's lap. “I just meant that I don't like hearing about your cheat days because it reminds me that you think you need a diet and you don't. You're so gorgeous all the time.”

“Aw,” Louis cooed, cupping Harry's face in his hands and giving him a big, loud kiss on the lips. The two stared at each other for a good few seconds and then Louis sighed, rubbing his forehead with one hand. “I have a headache. Can you help me find the medicine, babe?”

“Of course,” Harry said, getting off of Louis but taking his hand to help him stand. To the others, he said, “We'll be back.”

Liam and Niall nodded and after they had watched them ascend up the stairs, Liam said,

“Well, that was subtle.”

Niall laughed, choking on his drink. Liam smiled and took that as revenge for earlier. When he'd composed himself, Niall got to his feet.

“This is the part where we blare the music,” he said, and exited the kitchen just long enough to turn the stereo in the living room on to what sounded like full volume.

“Hey, this was Zayn's favorite song!” he announced as he danced his way back into the kitchen.

“What's with this past tense bullshit?” a voice beside Liam spoke, and he turned his head, knowing already that he was going to find Zayn in Harry's abandoned chair. Liam flashed him a brief smile before turning back to Niall, making sure he could still see Zayn in his peripheral vision.

“It's a good song,” he said to them both.

“It's a great song,” Zayn corrected at the same time that Niall said,

“It's alright.”

Since Niall was standing, swaying to the music and drinking; not paying any attention to Liam or his general direction, Zayn picked up a half eaten bread stick from one of his friend's plates and chucked it, hitting Niall square in the chest.

“Oi, you got pizza sauce on my shirt,” Niall sighed.

“Sorry,” Liam replied, resisting the urge to glare at Zayn; not for Zayn's sake but for his own.

“It's cool,” Niall said with a shrug, and then he proceeded to wipe as much of the sauce as he could off with his finger and lick it.

 

Once Louis and Harry finished their business, Harry announced that it was movie time.

“Do you like horror movies?” Niall asked Liam as the couple took it upon themselves to pick the film they would watch first.

“They don't bother me,” Liam said.

“Good,” Niall replied. “Those two are chickens.”

“Are not,” Louis and Harry said simultaneously.

“They are,” Niall whispered. It wasn't much of a whisper, and Liam was sure the others still heard, but they decided to let it go.

That was perhaps because Niall had been telling the truth, Liam realized only a few minutes into the film. Louis was sitting on Harry's lap with Maxwell on his, and Harry's arms were wrapped so tightly around Louis's middle that Liam wasn't sure how he was breathing properly. Of course, Louis appeared to be holding his breath, so maybe he wasn't, but whether that was from Harry or from fear was not clear.

With every noise or slightly unexpected visual, the couple would gasp, jump and cling to each other and Maxwell. Niall was openly snorting, not bothering to hide his amusement, but Liam kept his grin to himself. The two were being hilarious, but Liam couldn't help but to find them cute too.

During one of the movie's most intense scenes, a loud crash sounded from the kitchen, causing Harry to jump so hard that Louis almost fell off his lap. Louis, in turn, screamed.

“What was that?!” the smaller boy whispered, his voice hoarse from fear.

“I don't know,” Harry said, not sounding much better.

“It was probably just a dish shifting in the sink,” Niall said, but even though he was trying to keep his brave facade up, Liam felt as if he was at least a bit freaked out.

Before anyone had a chance to agree or disagree, a cupboard door slammed shut, causing the four to jump and Louis to scream again.

“Shit, someone is in my kitchen,” Harry pointed out unnecessarily.

“Shouldn't you go check it out then?” Niall suggested.

“Or hide?” Louis said, and had they been in actual danger, that would have been the better idea (the best idea would be running out and finding help), but, somehow, Liam knew it was only Zayn and he had to work hard to fight his smile.

“Do you have anything I can use as a weapon?” Liam asked, because he didn't want the others to think he was completely stupid or suicidal. “I'll go check it out.”

Wordlessly, Harry took a candlestick off of the fireplace mantle and handed it over. Liam thanked him.

“Wait, you can't go by yourself,” Louis whispered loudly as Liam began to make his way to the kitchen.

“Well, any volunteers to go with me then?” Liam, turning to the other three, asked. After a swallow so loud that Liam could hear it from halfway across the room, Louis nodded.

“Babe, no!” Harry gasped, clutching Maxwell tightly to his chest.

“I'm not letting Liam go alone,” Louis said.

“I'm coming too then,” Harry told him.

“Um, I know you lot are not about to leave me in here alone,” Niall said.

“Come on then!” Louis urged, leading Harry, who was clinging onto the back of his shirt with the hand that wasn't holding Zayn's teddy bear, over to Liam. Niall let out a few curse words and then rose to his feet, hurrying to join.

Liam was slowed down by the train of reluctant humans that had attached themselves to him, but when he entered the kitchen, all was still and silent.

“They're hiding. Let's just run out and call the cops,” Harry said, his voice nearly an octave higher than normal. Louis gasped and Liam could feel him jump, but when he turned to see what the problem was, Louis was already letting out a slow, calming breath.

“Guys, it's just Gina. It's okay.”

Liam saw movement from the corner of his eye and when he focused his full attention, he saw a dark-haired, middle aged woman sitting at the table and smiling. When her eyes locked with Liam's, he returned it briefly.

“I am not staying here and letting us get murdered because Louis thinks his imaginary friend can now make noises,” Niall said.

“She's real!” Louis insisted, and then the boys-all of them-jumped when a glass fell out of the newly opened cabinet. Harry and Niall screamed and bolted, but Louis turned to Liam, laughing nervously.

“Do you see her?” Louis asked, pointing to where Gina was sitting and waving.

“Yeah, I do,” Liam assured the other, instinctively waving back to the ghost.

“Thank God,” Louis breathed. “They think I'm crazy.”

“Well, I thought I was crazy when I first saw Z-...a ghost.”

Luckily, Louis didn't notice Liam's slip up.

“Let's go find the scared-y cats,” he said. “We must tease Niall relentlessly, of course. He looked like he was going to piss himself.”

Louis walked away without waiting for Liam. As he did, Gina faded and, feeling a presence behind him, Liam turned, facing a beaming Zayn.

“That was great, right?”

 

After checking the entire cabin a couple times over to assure themselves that there wasn't an intruder-a living one at least-Harry and Niall settled back down to watch a new movie; a comedy.

 

Since Louis and Niall both fell asleep during the movie, Liam and Harry agreed to call it a night as the credits began rolling. Harry carried Louis up to bed, kicking Niall gently but meaningfully to wake him on the way.

“He's such a dick,” Niall muttered, rubbing his eyes before accepting the hand Liam was offering to help him up. “I can't wait until the school year is over and I can go back to Ireland and never speak to him again.”

“I don't think you mean that,” Liam said, hoping he didn't.

“I guess not,” Niall admitted after thinking on it for a moment. “He is a dick though.”

Liam and Niall went upstairs together and said goodnight outside Niall's room and then Liam made his way to his. He thought he could feel eyes on him, but, looking around, he didn't see anyone, at least until he pushed open the bedroom door.

“Boo,” Zayn said, so close to Liam that the door had gone through him, and the living teen jumped. Zayn smiled.

“Sorry,” he said. “Couldn't help myself.”

“I'll forgive you this once,” Liam teased, keeping his voice low in the hopes that it wouldn't carry. “Did you have a good time earlier?”

“I had a great time!”

“That woman, Gina; I bet she's glad to have company.”

“Kind of,” Zayn said. “She cried when she first found out I was dead, though. It was really sweet.”

“A crying ghost is something I never hope to witness,” Liam commented, pulling the bed sheets down and getting underneath them without once taking his eyes off of Zayn. Once he was comfortable, the ghost joined by his side.

“What's so wrong with a crying ghost?” he asked.

“It's sad,” Liam replied. “They're dead. They shouldn't have to feel any of the pain from the world.”

“I think only spirits that move on are given that salvation.”

“Why doesn't everyone move on then?”

“Some can't and some just don't want to. Unfinished business and such.”

“Which one are you, really?”

“Unfinished business.”

“Anything I can help you with?

“Nah. Not right now, but thank you. That's really nice of you to ask.”

“You deserve to be at peace.”

Zayn smiled, moving his eyes from Liam's face to his arm and, after staring for a couple of moments, he reached out to poke Liam's flesh.

“Did you feel that?” he asked.

“Yeah, and I felt you earlier solidly, like you were really there. Well, you were really there, but you know what I mean.”

“I'm getting stronger,” Zayn commented, sounding proud of himself. “It used to be that I went through everything. Then, slowly, I was able to move objects and now I can touch people too.”

“Oh, thank god,” Liam said teasingly. “I don't have to worry about you rudely entering my body without permission anymore.”

“Hey, watch it,” Zayn warned, but his smile was too warm for him to be taken seriously. “I still can go through things if I desire.”

“Aw, shit.”

Zayn laughed, his eyes roaming across Liam's face as he laid on his side, his head resting on one hand.

“You're really cute,” the ghost said. “Did you go to the start of the year dance?”

“No,” Liam answered with a snort.

“Why not?”

“There was no way in hell I was going to ask anyone or vice versa, so...”

“Someone should have asked you.”

“Right.”

“Their loss, really,” Zayn said.

“I really don't feel like you've been dead long enough to be so bored and lonely that you find me attractive or entertaining,” Liam told him.

“You're mean to yourself,” Zayn said, and Liam was about to tell him that he'd simply accepted the truth, but the dead boy sat up straight, his face becoming serious as he focused on something else.

“Hey, Liam, can I ask you for a favor?” he said after a good half a minute had passed.

“Of course,” Liam said, unsure why his heart rate had accelerated.

“Lou's going out to sit by the lake and he's really upset. Do you think you could go talk to him?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.”

Liam stood quickly and walked briskly to the door, but paused with his hand on the knob.

“Hang on, Louis can see ghosts. Why don't you go talk to him?”

“I'm not sure if he's ready to see me and, besides, I'm sure they would have him committed. Harry thinks it's cute that Louis swears upon Gina, but if he started talking to his dead best friend, it probably wouldn't go over the same way.”

“Okay, good point,” Liam agreed, twisting the handle.

“Wait, Liam,” Zayn said. “It's probably cold out. You might need a jacket.”

 

When Liam got outside, it took him a moment to spot Louis, but then he saw him sitting a good couple hundred feet away, very close to the lake's edge.

“You're not planning on jumping in, are you?” Liam asked once in earshot, and Louis jumped, wiping his eyes as he turned to see Liam.

“No,” he answered as the other teen took a seat next to him. “It's tempting, but no.”

“What's wrong?” Liam asked.

“Well...I know it's kind of stupid, but I was kind of hoping Zayn would be here, you know? He's not at his place or school or anywhere else, but I can't accept that he's actually...gone.”

“But that means he's at peace,” Liam tried, feeling helpless. “You don't want him stuck here, unable to move on, do you?”

“No, but I want him here for a little while longer, just so I can talk to him one more time. I need to apologize.”

“Why do you need to apologize? What happened isn't your fault.”

“That's what everyone keeps saying.”

“Because it's true.”

“Then why doesn't it feel like it?”

“Guilt is part of the grieving process. Have you thought about getting help to move on to the next stage?”

“Oh, my parents put me in therapy already. It's not doing shit so far.”

“It's still pretty early.”

“I know, but it doesn't feel like it. It feels like a whole lifetime ago that I last saw him, and that's terrifying.”

“It doesn't mean you're forgetting about him or anything,” Liam said. “Your time with him was a whole other chapter of your life is all.”

“It shouldn't be like this.”

“I know.”

“He was my best friend. I love Niall and, obviously, Harry, but it's not the same. Zayn and I knew each other from the time we were in diapers. He was supposed to be my best man and the godfather of my kids and vice versa. He was always who I would talk to when something was wrong and I was the first person that he told he was-”

Louis cut himself off at the very last second. Liam pretended not to notice anything.

“I'm really sorry, Lou,” the teen said, and then mentally slapped himself. 'I'm sorry' was the most common response to a tragedy, but it was also the least helpful thing one could say. Liam silently apologized to Zayn, knowing he was doing a shit job at comforting his best friend.

“Hug him,” a voice in Liam's ear said, and so Liam did, only mildly hesitant at first in fear that Louis would push him away. He didn't, though. On the contrary, he clung to Liam, burying his face in his jacket and just letting himself openly sob. Liam didn't say anything else in an attempt to comfort, but simply held onto Louis and let him cry as long as he wanted.

When he was finished, Louis seemed embarrassed and Liam wished he wouldn’t be. He'd taken Zayn's death hard himself and he'd talked to him more now that he was deceased than he ever had when he was alive.

 

Zayn was waiting when Liam returned to the bedroom he'd chosen to sleep in; the ghost sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands folded in his lap. It was just then that Liam noticed he wasn't see-through anymore.

“Thank you,” Zayn said sadly as Liam closed the door.

“I'm not sure I helped him any,” Liam said honestly, still whispering as he sat next to the other.

“You did, I promise,” Zayn assured him.

“I hope so.”

“You're tired,” Zayn noted.

“Mhm,” Liam hummed in agreement, crawling across the bed to collapse down on his stomach with his head buried in the pillow. He felt a hand glide down the back of his neck gently, causing goosebumps.

“Sorry,” Zayn said. “You're the fist person I've actually felt in a while, besides when I pushed Alex into the trash can and whatnot.”

“S'okay,” Liam told him. “I don't mind.”

And so Zayn took that time to massage Liam's shoulders for a while before perhaps growing tired himself and laying next to the breathing man, running a single finger up and down his arm. Mostly asleep, Liam thought he could hear himself snoring, but Zayn didn't seem to mind as he hummed softly.

“Hey, Li?” Zayn cut himself off to say. Liam jolted awake instantly.

“Hm?” he asked, rubbing his eyes with his free arm. Zayn had the other in his hand, examining his wrist intensely.

“Are these self-harm scars?” the ghost asked, tracing along a smooth white line.

“Oh...yeah,” Liam said nonchalantly. “Surprised you noticed.”

“Fuck!”

Zayn was off the bed in an instant, gliding back and forth across the room and looking stressed.

“Zayn, what…?” Liam wondered, slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes again. “What is it?”

“I should have done something!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Alex and his gang! I knew they weren't nice to you and I never did a damn thing to stop it!”

“It's okay…,” Liam tried, but Zayn was having none of it.

“No it's not! Please don't cut yourself, Liam. They're not worth it.”

“They're not the reason, Zayn, and I don't do it anymore,” Liam said, wondering why Zayn was having such a strong reaction to this.

“Honest?”

“Yeah. The last one was, like, four months ago.”

“This one?” Zayn asked, standing suddenly in front of Liam and holding his arm again as he traced the most noticeable mark.

“Yeah,” Liam said. “But it's not a big deal. Don't worry about it.”

“Please let that be the last one ever,” Zayn said. “If you need to talk, well...I know I'm dead, but I'm here, okay?”

“Okay,” Liam said, only then feeling mildly awkward. “Thanks.”

Zayn nodded and then faded from visibility for an instant before appearing again.

“Shit. I'm tired,” he said. “I have to go, but I'll see you soon, yeah?”

“Okay.”

“Good night,” Zayn said, fading away.

“Good night,” Liam said to the empty room.

 

“You'll have to come here with us next time,” Harry said to Liam as the trio made their way out of the cabin the next morning. “Hopefully then we can stay longer.”

“Yeah, that would be fun,” Liam, holding Maxwell, said.

 

“Hey, freak.”

“Ooh, I get a new nickname? That's cool.”

Alex rolled his eyes, stepping away from Liam's locker, where he'd been waiting.

“Don't try to act tough,” Alex said.

“Tell him that you're not the one who needs the other two stooges around all the time,” Zayn said from beside Liam. He did.

“Ooh,” Tony laughed, but shut up at the look Alex shot him. Darren, on the other hand, was not paying attention, but instead staring directly at Zayn, a look of horror on his face. It worried Liam, but Zayn seemed not to notice.

“We just thought we should give you fair warning that your Carrie shit doesn't scare us.”

“My what?” Liam asked while Zayn crossed his arms.

“Guys,” Darren squeaked, but his friends ignored him.

“Carrie, like the movie.”

“You think I'm telekinetic?”

“It's the only explanation, so don't try to play dumb. We've thought about it a lot.”

“Aw, it's cute that you think about me,” Zayn had Liam say. He was going to get him beaten up, Liam just knew it, but this felt good, so he decided it was worth it.

“That's disgusting, nasty queer!” Alex said, shoving Liam backwards, and that was when the fun was over, apparently, because Liam barely had time to breathe before Zayn flew forward, slamming Alex into a locker and holding him back by his shoulders. Darren screamed and Tony even fell over from pure fear.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Alex asked, looking through Zayn at Liam.

“I'm not doing anything,” Liam said, and he thought he deserved a Grammy for not smiling in that moment. Really, the only thing that stopped him was the pure rage he'd seen on Zayn's face.

“Seriously, mate, let me go.”

“We're not mates.”

“Excuse me?”

At the sound of a professor's voice, Zayn let go of Alex, sending him crumbling to the ground.

“Is there a problem?” the older woman asked, one hand on her hip and her lips pursed sternly.

“N-no, ma'm,” Tony stammered, getting to his feet and then helping Alex up as well.

“Then I suggest getting to lunch unless you want to spend lunches with me all week.”

The bullies nodded, running away on shaky legs (Darren nearly had to be carried) and Liam hurried at his locker, the professor watching him the entire time. For that reason, both Liam and Zayn stayed silent until they ducked into the nearest restroom. Luckily, it was empty.

“Thanks for that, Zayn, but you really didn't have to,” Liam said.

“I'm not letting them hurt you anymore,” he said, that look of rage still on his face.

“I'm fine,” Liam said.

“I don't believe you.”

“Is this about the cuts?” Liam asked. “I told you, I don't do it anymore-”

“Four months wasn't that long ago.”

“-And it really has nothing to do with them.”

“Why then?”

Liam shrugged. No one had ever asked about his marks or scars before-probably hadn't even noticed-and Liam hadn't expected talking about it to be so awkward.

“Home stuff. It's dumb, I know. I stopped.”

“What kind of home stuff?” Zayn asked, and when Liam didn't immediately answer, he added, “Do they hurt you too?”

“No,” Liam replied quickly. “Don't worry about it, okay? Thank you, but I'm alright.”

Zayn remained silent, staring at Liam with his arms crossed again. Liam smiled.

“Anyway, I better be getting to lunch,” he said. "I don't want the boys thinking they scared me away this weekend.”

“Okay. Drop by real quick before you head home tonight?”

“Of course.”

 

Liam stayed true to his word and stopped by the toilets to say goodbye to Zayn after school, but there were a couple of guys already in there and Niall was waiting for Liam to catch a ride with him (they were meeting Louis and Harry at the movies), so he couldn't stay. Zayn seemed to understand and he waved from where he was standing by a sink. Liam gave a subtle nod, and, hoping he was imagining the sadness on the ghost's face, went back out to join Niall.

“That was quick,” the blonde commented.

“It was crowded,” Liam lied. “I'll just go when we get there.”

 

“Sorry about yesterday, Zayn,” Liam whispered as he entered the bathroom before fourth period the next day.

“It's cool,” Zayn answered immediately, rounding the corner away from the stalls instead of forming out of thin air, as Liam had expected him to. “I'd rather not have you locked away for appearing to talk to yourself.”

“How was your night?” Liam asked. For some reason, that made Zayn laugh.

“Wonderful,” he answered. “Did you hang out with the boys?”

“Yeah, I did. We went to see a film.”

“Was it good?”

“Pretty good. Hey, couldn't you have come with us?”

“Technically, yes. I would have had to stay invisible though, and I assume someone would have sat on me.”

“They would have gotten right back up. No one wants to watch a movie sitting on an ice block.”

“Good point,” Zayn said with a smile. “Maybe next time. Hold on, I think someone is coming.”

Liam stayed quiet as Zayn concentrated.

“Yep,” the ghost said. “Gotta go.”

Just like that, he faded, leaving Liam frowning. Sure, he almost had friends now, but he enjoyed no one's company as much as the ghost's.

Liam took care of business slowly, hoping the other guy would finish and leave before him, but he was taking his good old time too and eventually Liam knew he had to get back to class.

 

“People seem to really not want us to talk this week,” Liam commented as he entered the bathroom on Thursday. He and Zayn hadn't been able to say a single word to each other the previous day, nor anymore on Tuesday.

“Maybe the living and the dead aren't supposed to talk,” Zayn said.

“Don't say that. We just need a better set up than the school bathroom. Want to come to my place after school?”

_Good job, Liam; finally inviting Zayn to your home. He only had to die first._

“I can't get into your place,” Zayn said. “There's sage somewhere in there.”

“Really?” Liam asked.

“Yeah.”

“Hm. Well, I'll have to remove it then. Hold on, does this mean you've already tried to get in my flat?”

“Maybe,” Zayn said after a comical pause. “It gets boring here at night.”

“I don't mind,” Liam assured him, smiling widely but not as wide as he felt like he could. “I'll try to move the sage tonight, okay?”

 

It took Liam a bit to find the sage, but then he found it in two different places. That confused and worried him a bit because his mom had never before been the type to obsess over or fear the supernatural, at least to Liam's knowledge. He hoped she wasn't, at least, because surely she would be furious when she found the sage missing, but Liam had promised Zayn that he would get rid of it, so get rid of it he did.

For awhile, Liam thought he cleared the home of sage for nothing. He was disappointed when Zayn didn't immediately appear, but he knew deep down that he was being silly and he told himself to just have patience.

After hours had passed with still no sign from the ghost, Liam started to feel embarrassed. Zayn hadn't wanted in his home at all. He had much better things to do than hang around Liam. He probably didn't even care if he visited him in the bathroom or not.

Well, fine then, Liam thought to himself as he moodily heated up something for dinner. He wasn't going to visit Zayn tomorrow, even if that thought hurt.

Liam took his frozen meal upstairs once it was ready to be eaten. His mom didn't like when he ate in his room, but she wasn't home to know, and his bedroom was far less lonely than the empty kitchen table.

“I love macaroni and cheese.”

Liam jumped, spilling a bit of water from his cup as a voice spoke to him as soon as he entered the bedroom.

“Sorry,” Zayn said, a small smile on his face as he stood from Liam's bed and glided over to take his food from him. “I honestly didn't mean to scare you this time.”

“I think most people would be frightened by voices in their supposed empty bedroom,” Liam commented, setting his water on his desk and accepting his dinner back from Zayn.

“I haven't mastered the art of appearing in a non-creepy way yet. I'm sorry,” Zayn apologized again.

“I don't think that's possible, but it's not your fault,” Liam told him. “Ghosts are supposed to be creepy, aren't they?”

“I guess.”

Zayn changed the subject before Liam could say anymore on that.

“Nice house,” he said.

“Thanks,” Liam said. “I'm suspecting we'll have to move soon with my dad not being here anymore, but it's been a few months, so what do I know?”

“Your dad left?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah,” Liam said, taking his first bite of macaroni. After swallowing, he added, “Well, he didn't totally abandon us or anything. I still talk to him sometimes and see him every now and then.”

“I can't imagine if my parents ever split up,” Zayn said sympathetically. “It's got to be hard.”

“Kind of, but it's better than when he was here and fighting with my mum all the time.”

“I can't imagine,” Zayn said again, and he looked stressed, so Liam gave him a smile.

“It's okay,” he told him. “Anyway, happier topics.”

“I wrote curse words on a chalkboard for Knotts to come into in the morning,” Zayn said. “I don't know if you've ever had him, but he's a total dick. I hate that guy.”

“He's awful,” Liam agreed of their geography teacher. “Sounds like you had a lot of fun.”

“I'm having more fun now,” Zayn said. “So what are we doing tonight? Do you have homework?”

“Finished it already,” Liam said. “We can do whatever you want.”

“Can I look through your film collection?”

“Go ahead.”

Zayn glided to the small stack of movies sitting next to Liam's television, humming as he looked for a good pick. Liam continued eating, being relaxed by the notes.

“What about this one?” Zayn asked, holding up his choice a minute later.

“ _The Sixth Sense_?” Liam asked, an amused smile on his face.

“I feel like we will both be able to relate to it pretty well.”

“We can watch whatever you want,” Liam assured him, finishing off his dinner and going to put the movie in for Zayn. He didn't want him to use anymore energy than absolutely necessary.

The two laid in Liam's bed, their legs intertwined, as they watched the film. Zayn was making Liam cold, but he wouldn't have it any other way, which he was quick to assure Zayn when he asked. The ghost got off the bed just long enough to grab an extra blanket for the other teen, and it didn't help much, but Liam would never tell him that

“Do I feel extra warm to you when you touch me?” Liam asked Zayn.

“I don't feel temperatures,” the ghost answered.

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense,” Liam said, feeling stupid. Zayn began to run a finger up and down his arm.

“I wish I didn't make you cold,” he said as goosebumps immediately appeared on Liam's skin.

“I really don't mind,” the other assured him. “Um, can I ask what you actually feel when you touch me?”

“Of course. It's kind of hard to explain, but, like, it feels pretty normal besides the no temperature thing. If anything, you feel softer. I can feel your energy too. It's almost...electric, like. It's nice.”

“Soft and electric,” Liam noted.

“Sorry. I told you it's kind of hard to explain.”

“No, it's okay. I hope it really is nice, though.”

“It is.”

“Yours is nice too, even if it's cold.”

Zayn smiled, but he was starting to look sleepy, and Liam prepared himself for the disappointment he was bound to feel at any moment.

“You have to leave soon, don't you?”

“Mhm,” Zayn hummed. “Don't want to, though.”

“Well, come back tomorrow and we can finish the movie,” Liam suggested. Zayn gave another tired smile.

“I would love to.”

 

Liam fell asleep before his mom got home that night, but she didn't mention the sage the next morning. He was glad. Liam was getting too used to Zayn's attention, which he knew wasn't good. As soon as Zayn completed his unfinished business, he would be gone and Liam would be left to mourn him, probably worse than the first time around. It was dumb, he knew. Zayn was only hanging around him because he was bored and his options were limited, but, to Liam, his company meant everything.

 

As he said he would, Zayn joined Liam at his home again that evening to finish the movie that they'd started. Liam was already in bed when Zayn arrived, half asleep, and he'd been so expectant of Zayn that he barely even jumped when he felt a hand brush a stray strand of hair from his forehead.

“Hey,” Liam greeted, opening his eyes and giving the beautiful, frowning boy above him a tired smile. “What's wrong?”

“You're sick,” Zayn said.

“M'not,” Liam said, rubbing his eyes and rolling over to face Zayn as the other sat next to him.

“You are,” Zayn insisted. “It felt like something was off with your energy at school today, but now it's gotten worse. You're sick, or at least will be in the morning.”

“It's weird that you can read my energy like that,” Liam said, and then when Zayn looked hurt, he quickly added, “I don't mean in a bad way or anything. It's just interesting.”

“Do you feel bad?” Zayn asked, playing with the other's hair again.

“No,” Liam answered honestly. “I feel fine. So do you want to finish the movie?”

 

As Zayn had predicted, Liam woke up sick the next morning. It was nothing serious; just a mild fever and a scratchy throat, but it was still enough for his mom to insist he stay home. Liam debated on sneaking to school once she went to work, but he'd fallen asleep waiting, and by the time he woke, he'd already missed half the school day and couldn't muster the energy to get out of bed for more than using the toilet. He hoped Zayn knew that he was out and not just choosing not to visit that day.

 _He probably wouldn't care anyway,_ Liam reminded himself as he took his second dose of Ibuprofen for the day. After he'd taken both of the small pills, he turned on the tap to refill his water glass, and then screamed and dropped the glass into the sink as there was a rap on the other side of the door.

“Sorry,” Liam heard Zayn apologize as he turned off the water and picked his cup up again. “I thought this would be more subtle and less frightening, but clearly, I was wrong.”

“It's okay,” Liam assured him, opening the door to come face-to-face with the other boy. Zayn studied his face, his eyebrows pulled together.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it's just a mild fever,” Liam told him, taking a sip of his water.

“What hurts?” Zayn asked.

“Just my head and throat a little, but I took something for it just now.”

Zayn nodded, not looking very comforted.

“That's one part of being alive that I won't miss; being sick,” he said. “Do you need anything?”

“I'm good for now, thanks.”

Zayn nodded.

“I'll let you rest.”

“Hold on,” Liam said, grabbing Zayn's hand as he started to fade. He went through him at first, but as Zayn made his appearance solid again, so was his touch. “Um,” Liam began, “you don't have to stay, obviously, but if you want, we can watch another movie or something.”

“I'd like that,” Zayn said with a smile.

Zayn lasted through a whole movie, even with being interrupted by a phone call from Liam's dad; the man saying that he was told by Liam's mom to check on him. Liam didn't want Zayn to leave afterward, but he was getting a little tired himself. Besides, he was chilled already from the fever and having Zayn next to him wasn't helping anything, which he guessed the ghost knew because he kept more distance than usual.

“I'll come back later,” Zayn told Liam, kissing his forehead, and Liam assumed he was just checking his temperature before remembering that he couldn't feel it. Perhaps Zayn had forgotten too. “Get some rest, Liam.”

“Okay,” he said, burying his head further into his pillow as Zayn tucked the blankets tighter around him. Before Liam even had a chance to thank him, he was gone.

 

By night time, when Zayn returned, Liam was starting to sweat out the fever and he couldn’t stay cool, no matter how hard he tried.

“Finally, something I'm useful for,” Zayn said as means of a greeting.

“You're useful,” Liam assured him, but Zayn wordlessly got into bed behind him and pulled him close against his cold body. Liam shivered and then sighed in contentment.

“Feels good,” he said.

“Good,” Zayn said. “Sleep, if you can. I'll try to stay until your fever is gone.”

“I don't want you to wear yourself out.”

“I'll just have to disappear for a while if I get too tired,” Zayn said. “It's no big deal. I've got eternity.”

“When you disappear, is it like sleeping?” Liam asked.

“A lot like it,” Zayn said. “It’s kind of like being in a coma and hearing, or feeling, other peoples' energies around you, but unable to do anything.”

“That sounds terrifying,” Liam said.

“It's not,” Zayn told him. “Sleep, gorgeous boy.”

“You're silly,” Liam commented, closing his eyes.

“No, I'm not,” Zayn argued, but Liam didn't have the energy to say anything back.

 

When Liam awoke the next morning, he was a normal temperature and felt much better. His throat still hurt a bit and he was gross from the sweat that had dried on his body the previous night, but he felt almost normal.

None to his surprise, Zayn was gone, but he'd left a note on the notepad of Liam's laptop, reading;

_Hope you feel better today, gorgeous boy! See you at school._

Liam couldn't stop smiling and had a feeling that he was really weirding his mom out during breakfast.

 

To Liam's disappointment, Zayn didn't appear when he made his normal trip to the bathroom, even though he knew he had no room to be disappointed. It was his own fault that Zayn was too tired to appear. Liam only hoped that he had told the truth when he said his 'sleeping' wasn't scary.

 

When Liam stopped by the bathroom before lunch, he was glad to see Zayn there, turning the faucet on two of the sinks off and on.

“That looks like a thrilling game,” Liam teased. Zayn turned around, a smile on his face.

“You're feeling a bit better,” he noted, not questioning it at all. “Not one hundred percent, but better.”

“Yeah, I'm okay,” Liam said. “Thank you for yesterday and last night, especially.”

“No problem,” Zayn assured him. “Tomorrow is Halloween, correct?”

“Yep,” Liam said. “Are you going to wreak havoc?”

“Doubt it,” Zayn said with a laugh. “I was just wondering if you were going to the school dance.”

“No,” Liam said. “That sounds even worse than the first dance.”

“Are you doing anything then?”

“Probably not.”

“Hm,” Zayn hummed. “I'm sure Lou and them would ask you to do something, but Louis said he just wants to stay in.”

Zayn's shoulders dropped.

“He needs to get over the accident.”

“He just needs time,” Liam said.

“I know. It's just so frustrating seeing everyone so upset and not being able to do anything.”

There was a moment of silence with Liam trying and failing to find something comforting to say, and then Zayn spoke again.

“Hey, Li?”

“Yeah?”

“I know that I really have no room to ask you this, and you can say no, but do you think you could possibly do me a favor?”

“Of course. Anything,” Liam said without a moment's hesitation. “What is it?”

“Well...my mum is having a hard time too. She's accepted that I'm gone now, but she's still bothered not knowing how it ended. She knows about the accident, of course, but she doesn't know if I was scared or in pain, and that's really bothering her. Do you think you could just give her a quick visit to tell her that I didn't feel a thing? That I wasn't scared.”

“I would love to,” Liam said, “but don't you think she'll probably just chase me out of the house with a baseball bat or something if I come claiming to have a message from her deceased son?”

“No,” Zayn laughed. “None of us in the house play baseball.”

The ghost winked and then continued.

“Actually, she's been visiting psychics and mediums, trying to find reassurance, but even though they tell her the same thing that I told you, it's hard for her to believe them. She thinks they're just telling her what she wants to hear. That's why I thought if you show up without her seeking you, it would be more believable.”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Liam said, slightly choked up, but remaining strong. “I can go after school if you want.”

 

“You're sure you want me to do this?” Liam asked Zayn, who was sitting in his passenger seat, as he pulled up to the home the teen had lived in while he was alive.

“Only if you want to,” Zayn said. Liam nodded, opening his car door and making his way slowly to the bell, taking in the eery sound of crunching leaves beneath his feet.

As he rang the bell and waited for someone to answer the door, the boy began to grow nervous.

“You can leave if you want,” Zayn said quietly from behind Liam. He shook his head.

“Thank you so much for this, Liam.”

Zayn had already thanked Liam at least ten times, but Liam didn't have time to again give his reassurance because then the front door opened.

“Hello!” a lovely middle aged woman greeted with a smile on her face. Liam guessed she was Zayn's mother and was glad that she didn't look or sound as emotionally beaten as Liam had imagined she would. Sure, there was a sadness to her that even Liam picked up on, but she seemed to have a good hold of herself.

“Hi,” Liam replied with a nervous smile and a twitch. “Um...Trisha Malik?”

“Yes?”

“My name is Liam. I'm a friend of Zayn's,” the boy said as he and Zayn had rehearsed on the way over.

“Hello, dear. How can I help you?” the woman asked politely, her smile having faltered for only an instant at the mention of her dead son.

“I...uh...well...I've seen your son. I've talked to him.”

Trisha's eyes widened, but she really didn't look as shocked as Liam thought he would if he had been in her shoes.

“Would you like to come in?” the woman asked, stepping back and holding the door open further to allow Liam to enter.

“Thank you,” he said as he stepped inside. Zayn stepped in with him.

“I have snacks,” Trisha announced, leading the boy to the kitchen. “Cookies, actually. Chocolate chip or oatmeal? Here, have both.”

“Thank you,” Liam said again, because Trisha had already begun putting the sweets onto a napkin. Zayn chuckled.

“Do you like milk?” the woman asked. “Or would you rather have tea?”

“Uh, milk is fine, thank you, but you really don't have to-”

“I want to, silly,” she interrupted, pouring Liam a glass of milk. He thanked her yet again as she slid the beverage to him.

“So you talked to Zayn?” she finally asked, taking a seat across from Liam-and next to Zayn. Liam nodded, swallowing his bite of cookie.

“Sorry. But, yeah, I talked to him and he, uh, he just wants you to know that he's seen you talking to those mediums and they told the truth. He didn't feel any pain and he wasn't scared.”

For the briefest of instances, tears popped up in Trisha's eyes, but, somehow, they were gone in the blink of an eye.

“Good,” she said. “Good, good. That's really...That's all I needed. Well, that's all I needed that I could reasonably ask for anyway.”

Liam offered a tiny smile, finding it suddenly hard to swallow each bite of cookie.

“Is there anything else you want to tell him?” Liam asked, even though that hadn't been part of the script. “I can leave the room if you want. He'll stay.”

“He's here?!” Trisha asked. Oops. Liam shot a quick glance to Zayn, but luckily, the ghost didn't seem mad.

“Um, yeah,” Liam said.

“Where?” Trisha asked, and after receiving approval from Zayn, Liam said,

“In the chair right next to you. The other one,” he added as she looked to the wrong side.

“Oh,” she said, finally letting her tears fall, or perhaps simply unable to stop them. “I'm sure I do have something to say, but of course I can't think of anything right now. Just that I love him and miss him.”

“He loves you too,” Liam assured the woman for the other boy.

“Is...is he safe? Is he happy?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Oh, I'm so glad.”

“He'll always be here,” Liam said when prompted. “Just say his name and he can be here in an instant.”

Trisha gave a watery smile, turning to nod at Liam.

“Bless you, sweetie. Thank you so much for this.”

 

“Did you tell her the truth?”

“What?”

“Your mum, when you told her that you weren’t hurt or scared.”

“Oh.”

Zayn shifted, holding Liam's head, which was resting on his lap, still.

“No, but she doesn't need to know that.”

“I'm sorry.”

“For what?”

“That you were hurt and scared.”

“Oh. It was brief. There really aren't many painless deaths, so I actually got pretty lucky, I think.”

Liam laughed, looking up at Zayn's face and tracing his jawline.

“You are something,” he commented. Zayn said nothing, but took Liam's hand in his after the boy had removed it from his face. He kissed the top of every finger before placing one longer, final kiss on the back of his hand. Liam's heart was pounding in all the best ways, and he knew Zayn could feel it, but instead of saying something, he simply pulled him up farther onto his lap and leaned down to kiss his neck. Ghosts sure were flexible, Liam thought, but then again, they had no bones, so that made sense.

Thanks to Zayn and his flexibility, Liam had to steal his mom's makeup the next morning, wondering how his life had gotten to the point where he was getting hickies from a ghost.

 

Louis wasn't at school that day, claiming to not feel well, which could have been true since Liam was just sick and the two had been pretty close while shotgunning, or it could have been more of an emotional sickness since he'd been talking about his and Zayn's previous Halloween shenanigans just the day before. Harry was going over to his place that night to pamper him, and even Niall said he wasn't feeling very Halloween-ish, so that meant instead of going out and doing anything, Liam was on his bedroom floor that night, working on homework, as he figured he would be. He didn’t mind, though. He'd gotten a hickey from the ghost he'd been talking to on a regular basis, so his entire life was kind of like Halloween, he thought.

Liam was tapping his pencil against his math book, knowing he'd gotten the wrong answer for the problem he'd just done, but unable to figure out where he went wrong, when his stereo turned on, seemingly by itself.

“Zayn?” Liam asked, unsure; worried only for the fact that the presence hadn't made itself visible yet. He needn't have worried, though.

“Evening, gorgeous boy,” Zayn greeted, fading into view and slowly becoming more solid. “How are you on this Halloween?”

“Better now,” Liam replied cheesily, but Zayn smiled.

“You have exquisite taste in music,” the ghost complimented, gliding to Liam gracefully and holding out his hand. “May I have this dance?”

“What?” Liam asked, one eyebrow raised. Surely, Zayn had to be joking.

“Well, since everyone was too late to ask you to the dance, I would be honored to have the pleasure.”

“I don't know how I feel about taking a pity dance,” Liam said, smiling but still confused as to what Zayn was doing.

“It's not a pity dance,” Zayn said. “Well, it's more of a self-pity dance since I couldn't ask you to the other one, seeing as how I was dead.”

“You wouldn't have asked me if you'd been alive!”

“If I could have gotten over my idiotic fear of coming out of the closet, I would have.”

Liam gave Zayn a disbelieving look, but the ghost didn't let up, his arm still outstretched.

“Please, Liam.”

Liam still didn't know why Zayn was doing this, but he reached out his own arm as well. Zayn moved closer to take Liam's hand and help him up.

“Hold on. This song is almost over,” he said. “Let me put on another.”

Leading Liam to his music player, Zayn chose another song-a slower one, but not terribly so-and turned swiftly back to the other, putting his hands on his hips.

“Are my arms supposed to go around your neck?” Liam asked.

“Actually, you're taller, so the other way around, I think.”

Zayn moved so that his arms were around Liam's neck and Liam put his hands on Zayn's hips. The two smiled at each other and then moved closer, swaying and turning to the music. Liam decided that this was his favorite moment of his entire life.

“Thank you,” Zayn said softly once the song ended and a much poppier tune started up. “Need help with your homework?”

Liam shook his head.

“I think it's best I quit for the night before I get a headache.”

“Maths?”

“Maths.”

“Well, what would you like to do? If I may stay for a while, of course.”

“Of course you can stay,” Liam said, and then, “Want to make Halloween cookies?”

 

“These ghosts are insulting,” Zayn commented as he iced one of the typical storybook ghost cutouts.

“They're cute,” Liam disagreed. “Not as cute as you, of course, but still.”

“Aw, you think I'm cute?” Zayn teased.

“ _Everyone_ thinks you're cute,” Liam replied with a roll of his eyes. “You know that.”

“I only care about your opinion.”

Liam smiled, looking down at the bat he was icing to hide his blush.

After the cookies were iced and Liam had eaten three, the two went upstairs. Liam changed into his night clothes quickly and then laid in his bed next to Zayn.

“You've been here a while,” he commented. “Are you getting tired?”

“No, actually. Maybe I'm stronger tonight because it's Halloween.”

“Maybe.”

“Hey, so, I know I, again, have no right to ask you this question, but...where is your mum?”

“Work for most of the day and then who knows,” Liam answered. “I don't think she likes being here without my dad.”

“You're still here though.”

“Yeah, but that's not enough, I guess.”

“I think you're enough, Liam.”

“Well, I only care about your opinion.”

Zayn smiled and then leaned forward to kiss Liam's forehead, putting his arms across his body as he did so.

“Fuck,” the ghost said.

“Can you still do that?” Liam asked, causing Zayn's eyes to widen.

“I...uh..I...honestly have no idea what to say to that,” he stammered. Liam giggled and then put his hand on Zayn's chest, curios to what he felt. The answer was nothing, and Liam didn't really like that, so he flung his arms over Zayn's waist instead.

“Dancing with you was part of my unfinished business,” Zayn said then.

“What?” Liam asked. Even though he'd thought he'd heard him correctly, his words made no sense.

“Well, accepting myself was my unfinished business,” Zayn said. “Coming to terms with the fact that I was-am-gay and stuff, but you're a big part of that because you were my first...my only crush.”

“Zayn, this is Halloween, not April Fools,” Liam said.

“I'm serious,” Zayn insisted. “I always wanted to talk to you more than I did; wanted to invite you to the movies, to Harry's cabin..ask you to all the stupid school dances. But I was too afraid.”

“Well of course you were,” Liam said. “You were popular. You would have lost all your friends.”

“Liam, that's not why I was afraid!” Zayn said, sounding a bit upset. “I didn't give a shit about what anyone thought about me and you. I was just so afraid to be myself because who I really was is against my culture and the beliefs I had for a long time, and who I'd pretended to be my entire life. I was okay faking it, but I still wanted to know you in a way that wasn't part of my facade, and I never acted on it because I didn't want to throw away my lifelong charade for a crush, but, fuck, if I had known how much I was going to end up loving you, I would have done it in a heartbeat.”

Gaping at someone after they said that they loved you was not a great thing to do, but Liam couldn't help it. After those words, all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. Luckily for him, though, Zayn was patient, probably because he literally had all the time in the world.

“Is being dead that lonely?” Liam asked quietly, and Zayn actually managed to laugh.

“Actually, when I'm with you, it's the least lonely I've ever felt. You don't have to say it back, Liam. I know it will never work. I know I'm dead and you've got your whole life ahead of you, but I need to say this for me and I want you to hear it too. I love you. I'm in love with you.”

“I liked you too,” Liam said, his voice sounding strange, probably because he was somehow out of breath. “I've liked you since, like, first year. When you died...I know it's selfish, but it felt like a big dream of mine died too because I never lost hope that you would like me also and that we would go on dates and fall in love...And now we're here and it's nothing like I ever could have imagined, but at the same time, it's better. I mean, I wish you weren't dead for your sake, obviously, but still...this feeling...Well...My crush on you was nice, but it kind of hurt too. It hasn't hurt in a while and I guess that's because I've fallen in love with you.”

Zayn smiled, but there was something off about it.

“Liam, I...that makes me so happy, but at the same time, it's heartbreaking. I can't be with you; not really.”

“This feels pretty real to me,” Liam said, snuggling closer to Zayn's smaller frame. The other said nothing more, but wrapped his arms around Liam, one finger running up and down his spine while he every now and then placed a kiss to the top of Liam's head. Liam barely even got goosebumps; Zayn's touch feeling warmer then, somehow.

Liam woke once during the night and Zayn was gone, but when he opened his eyes again in the morning, he was facing the teen.

“Morning,” Zayn said, climbing on top of Liam and placing a gentle kiss on the spot of his neck that he'd already bruised.

“Good morning to you too,” Liam said, a huge smile on his face because this was officially the best morning ever.

“You're so cute when you sleep,” Zayn commented, nuzzling against Liam. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Liam replied, his heart skipping a beat or two. Zayn sat up, straddling Liam's waist and putting his hand on his chest.

“I love that heartbeat,” he commented.

“When it stops we can be together forever.”

“That better not be for a very long time.”

“It can't be too long. You may not love me then.”

“I'll love you always.”

Liam smiled and then was startled by a knock on his door.

“Liam? Honey?” his mom called, opening his door slowly. Liam's eyes widened in horror before realizing that the likelihood of her seeing Zayn on top of him was slim.

“Oh, you are awake,” she said when she saw her son staring up at her. “I was just coming to check on you since it's nearing eleven and you still aren't up. Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Liam replied. “Sorry, didn't realize it was so late. I'll be up in a minute.”

The woman nodded.

“Take your time. I made muffins for breakfast.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, mum.”

Liam's mom nodded again as she exited the room and pulled the door closed behind her.

“I wish I could meet your mum officially,” Zayn commented after a few moments had passed.

“Even if you were alive, it would probably be a struggle making that happen,” Liam told him quietly.

 

To Liam's surprise, his mom stayed home most of the weekend and insisted on the two spending time together. Liam didn't mind-was actually happy about it-but he did wish that he could have put his arm around Zayn when the boy had put his head on his shoulder while the three watched a movie. He wished he could have thanked Zayn when they went to the mall and Zayn told him how good he looked in everything he tried on, and he also wished he could have slapped him (lightly) when the boy had busted out laughing over Liam's mom noticing his blush and asking if he was getting hot and needed a drink.

 

“Is it bad that I want to ask you to play hooky?” Zayn asked Liam as he watched him style his hair the next morning.

“No,” Liam answered, not having to watch his volume since his mom had left for work early. Apparently a weekend with Liam was all she could handle. “But I have a test that I really don't want to make up, so rain check.”

“Fine,” Zayn said, opening and closing a drawer pointlessly. “I should probably rest anyway. We had a busy weekend.”

“We did,” Liam agreed. “You rest up and I'll see you soon, okay?”

Zayn nodded, planting a kiss on Liam's nose before fading away.

Liam's ghost love must have been really tired because he didn't show up all school day, but appeared on Liam's bed while Liam was on the internet that night.

“How did your test go?”

“Good, I think,” Liam replied, and though he hadn't seen Zayn appear, he'd felt him and hadn't even jumped at his voice. Closing his laptop, he turned to smile at the other kid. “I missed you today.”

“I'm sorry. I was trying to get lots of rest so I can stay for a while tonight.”

“No need to apologize,” Liam assured him, standing and putting his pillow against the wall so that he could sit up comfortably in bed. “Feel better?”

“I do. Something hurts on you, though. What's wrong?”

“Oh, just burned my arm on the oven while making dinner. I'm okay.”

“Where?”

Liam showed Zayn the spot where he was sure to have a permanent scar, and Zayn placed a nice, cool kiss to the area.

“All better,” Liam said when Zayn pulled away.

“Liar. It still hurts,” Zayn said. Liam shrugged.

“I'll survive.”

“You better.”

“Don't want to be stuck with me for eternity, eh?”

“That's not it at all.”

Liam smiled. Zayn returned it slightly and took his hand.

“How have Alex, Darren and Tony been since the locker incident, by the way?”

“Haven't said a word to me besides Tony muttering 'queer' under his breath once, but he nearly pissed himself when I looked at him. Alex glares at me, but that's it, and Darren ignores me like the plague. He totally saw you, you know.”

“Eh, I don't care. Who will believe him?”

“Thank you again for that, Zayn.”

“No one hurts my boy,” Zayn said with a wink, his thumb making circles on the back of Liam's hand. Liam swallowed and then asked the question that had been burning on his mind all day.

“Hey, Zayn, now that you're done with your business, do you think you will...Are you ready to go?”

“I'm going to hang around for a while,” Zayn said, and immediately, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of Liam. “I'm in no rush.”

“You're really happy though?” Liam asked, wanting to keep him around for selfish reasons, but Liam's love for Zayn prevented him from being completely selfish and if it would be best for Zayn to move on, then that was what Liam wanted for him.

“I'm so happy. Don't worry,” Zayn said, and so Liam settled.

 

Though Zayn had made a complete recovery from that weekend and was back to meeting Liam in the bathroom a couple times a day (and he even walked Liam to a lot of his classes like a true gentleman), the rest of that week was awful. Liam didn't do as well on that test as he'd thought he had, but that was only the beginning. His car battery died and his mom didn't have the money to help him replace it. Liam was just going to accept the fact that he would have to take the bus or get a ride from Louis for a while, but his mother took it upon herself to ask his father to help him out. He did, but complained the whole time about Liam never calling or visiting despite the fact that he never called or asked him over. On top of that, Liam somehow managed to completely lose one of his essays, and his instructor told him that she would accept it the next day, but it would be docked a letter grade. That was better than nothing, Liam knew, but then he ended up falling asleep while writing it, meaning he couldn't turn that nor his chemistry homework in the next day; Friday.

So Liam just didn't go to school at all.

“Your energy has been so off this week,” Zayn commented when he came to see why Liam hadn't gone to school and found him face down in bed. “I don't like it.”

“Well, I'm so sorry to bother you with my stressful energy,” Liam snapped, flipping onto his back and glaring at Zayn on the end of his bed by his feet.

“Whoa, hey, I didn't mean it like that,” Zayn said, getting to his feet and choosing to stand at the end of the bed instead. “I'm just worried about you is all.”

“I'm sorry,” Liam apologized, pressing his fists against his eyes. “I didn't mean to snap. It's just been a shit week.”

“I wish I could help,” Zayn said. “Hey, we can bake more cookies this weekend and then maybe I could give video games a go. I haven't played them since I was alive.”

Liam laughed, that sentence striking him funny for some reason, but then he said,

“Sorry. Didn't mean to laugh, but we can't this weekend, unfortunately. I told my dad I would go to his place since he paid for my car battery and all.”

“We can go do it now then?”

“I'm sorry, Zayn,” Liam said again, and he was pretty sure he would be crying if he wasn't putting pressure on his eyelids. “I just can't right now.”

“It's okay,” Zayn assured him and, in an instant, Liam felt him beside him. “I'm sorry you're sad.”

“Yeah well...I guess I should just be grateful that I'm alive, right?”

An awkward silence fell amongst the two.

“Holy shit, Zayn, I'm so sorry. I didn't think about that at all. Oh my god, I-”

Liam stopped talking as Zayn erupted into laughter beside him. Finally taking his fists off his eyes, Liam looked over to see a tear rolling down the ghost's cheek from just how hard he was laughing.

“That was great, baby,” Zayn said, moving to get on top of Liam. “That was seriously so hilarious. I love you.”

The next thing Liam knew, Zayn's lips where pressed to his; his eyes fluttering closed just after the other boy's did. It was an odd feeling, but not unpleasant, much like Zayn's regular touch. His lips were cold-Liam could almost swear he felt tiny, smooth ice shards on them-but they still felt ultimately like lips, and even better, they were Zayn's lips. Liam was finally kissing the man he'd dreamed of kissing for years, and even though it wasn't what he expected, it was perfect.

“Sorry,” Zayn said when they broke apart, his eyes focused intently on Liam.

“Kiss me again,” Liam said, and so he did.

So that day ended up not being too bad. Liam still couldn't really find the motivation to get out of bed, but he was glad to have Zayn next to him for most of the day.

Any happiness that Liam had managed to gain back that day was destroyed the next while at his dad's. Liam loved his dad and missed spending time with him, but his mid-divorce dad was much less pleasant than normal. He asked Liam how he was doing and when told the truth, would turn all of Liam's problems around to him and hint that they were his fault. When he complained himself, though, Liam wasn't allowed to say anything, and he complained a lot, particularly about Liam's mom. When the teen said no, he wasn't going to leave 'that crazy bat' to live with him, it was highly suggested that Liam leave, and so he did.

All week, Liam had been strong; fighting off the tears that had been threatening to spill almost constantly, but he couldn't fight it anymore when he got home. He hated crying, though; hated how it made him feel both physically and emotionally, and so when nearly twenty minutes passed without any sign of stopping, Liam knew he needed a good distraction. A book or movie wouldn't work. Texting any of his three friends wouldn't work, and Liam wasn't going to call Zayn there to witness him in this state. Liam knew of only one way to make himself stop crying, and so he opened the bottom drawer of his desk and took out his old distraction tool. As soon as it was in his hands, Liam felt calmer.

Taking a deep, shaky breath in, Liam took his weapon to the bathroom. He didn't bother locking the door and refused to look at his reflection in the mirror as he placed the razor to his wrist. Biting the inside of his lip, Liam pressed down and slid the tiny tool quickly along the skin horizontally-Liam wasn't quite sad enough to risk it vertically right then.

As the blood rose to the surface of his skin, Liam let out a small gasp of what could only be considered relief. Just like that, he didn't feel like crying anymore. One more time and the ache in his chest would probably go away too.

Liam cut himself slower that time, really concentrating on the physical pain he was creating and the razor was halfway across his wrist when a loud, frantic screech sounded throughout the bathroom walls. Liam gasped, jumped and then screamed when the razor went much deeper than he'd intended.

“Shit, Liam, I'm so sorry! Shit, shit shit!”

Liam was dizzy, but he could still see the smaller, tanner hands that grabbed his wrist and forced it under the tap, the water struggling to catch up with washing the blood away as quickly as it was pouring.

“Liam, can you hear me?” Zayn asked at the teen rested against the sink, fighting with his eyes which wished to roll back in his head.

“Yeah, I hear you,” Liam muttered, his voice slightly slurred.

“Baby, you're bleeding so much,” Zayn said. “You need to call an ambulance, okay?”

“No, m'okay,” Liam said.

“Liam, you are going to pass out on me!”

“I just need to sit,” Liam insisted, and in the next instant, Zayn was lowering him to the ground, propping him against the wall before gathering a wad of toilet paper and holding it tightly against Liam's wounds.

“Liam!” Zayn exclaimed, slapping the other's cheek gently with his free hand when Liam felt himself drifting off.

“M'okay!” Liam said again, forcing his weary eyes open and focusing on Zayn's blurry face.

“Baby, I really want you to go to the hospital.”

“No. Don't need it. Can I have water, please?”

Twisting his body in a way that surely would have hurt, had Zayn been able to feel anything, the ghost filled one of the tiny paper cups with water and helped Liam drink it, never once releasing pressure from his wrist. He refilled the cup three times until Liam choked, attractively dribbling water all down the front of his chest. Zayn let out a sob.

“What are you doing, gorgeous boy?” he asked, and Liam jumped when he felt a smooth substance touch his skin before realizing that Zayn was putting antibacterial ointment on the wounds. The blood was still coming, but had slowed quite a bit, and Liam's vision was slowly starting to return to normal, at least somewhat.

“I wasn't trying to go that deep,” Liam said, his tongue just slightly heavy. “You scared me.”

“I'm so sorry, babe, but why were you doing it at all? I thought you quit.”

“I did, but it was a shit week.”

“That doesn't mean you mutilate yourself!”

Infuriatingly, Liam began to cry again as Zayn wrapped his wounds with gauze he'd found.

“I was trying to stop crying and it worked and now you made me cry again!” Liam said, and he understood that he sounded like a whiny toddler, but his head was foggy and all he wanted was to get away from Zayn and sleep.

“Liam, stay with me!”

“I want to sleep!”

Zayn didn't say a word, but Liam heard him sniffling as he finished dressing his cuts, and when Liam opened his eyes, he saw a tear rolling down the other guy's face. This time, it wasn't from laughter, and the ache in Liam's chest came back ten times worse. Seeing a ghost cry was sadder than he ever imagined, though he thought seeing Zayn cry would always make him feel like this, alive or not.

“Don't cry,” Liam tried helplessly, reaching out a weak hand and brushing the tear away. At least three more followed.

“You're hurt,” Zayn said.

“I'll be fine,” Liam told him.

“I don't just mean the cuts,” Zayn said. “You're hurting.”

“Everyone is hurting in some way,” Liam pointed out, feeling like quite the philosopher.

“You could have just died!”

Liam didn't point out that that was technically Zayn's fault. The ghost sobbed again.

“Please no more,” he said, kissing the bandage on Liam's wrist. “Please never again.”

“Okay,” Liam said, meaning it for at least the moment.

“Shit,” Zayn whispered, kissing the wound again.

“I'm okay.”

“Let me help you to bed and get you something to eat, okay?” Zayn asked.

“Sounds great,” Liam mumbled.

Zayn got Liam to bed and then brought him a brownie from downstairs and, after eating it, Liam fell asleep.

He woke alone, staring directly at his bandaged wrist. Sighing, Liam went to shower and put on a thick hoodie, hiding the bandages from his mother, should she by chance be around or pay enough attention to notice this time.

 

“I thought you were done with me,” Liam commented as he saw Zayn's figure forming on his bed next to him that afternoon. It had been another day in bed, doing absolutely nothing, and Liam was partly glad that Zayn hadn't been around to see how pathetic he was, but was mostly just scared that Zayn would never come around again.

“Of course I'm not done with you,” Zayn said, sounding offended that Liam would think such a thing. “You don't just walk away from someone you love.”

“I really wasn't trying to kill myself.”

“I know, but that doesn't mean that was okay, Liam. You need help.”

“Wow, thanks, Zayn.”

“I only say it because I care about you. Don't you know that's not a healthy outlet? That you shouldn't want to physically harm yourself when something hurts internally?”

“I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. It won't happen again.”

“I hope not, love.”

Zayn laid down and took to nibbling on the side of Liam's neck until he was forced to burst into giggles.

“Stop, stop, stop!” he pleaded as Zayn continued harder, smiling against Liam's skin.

“But I love that laugh,” he said. “I've barely heard it all week.”

“I'm sorry!” Liam said, gently pushing Zayn off of him. “I'm sorry I've been a grump all week.”

“I forgive you,” Zayn decided after pretending to think for a moment, and then he moved his kisses from Liam's neck to his shoulder to his chest and then down to his stomach and waistline. Liam's breath hitched in his throat.

“Zayn, don't get me in that mood when I don't think you can do anything to help me out of it...Can you?”

“Well, I don't have blood rushing though me, so...And I don't think I would be very comfortable to mount, but I'm good with my hands, I think.”

Zayn stopped talking long enough to kiss Liam right above his pants and then said,

“I find it really sexy when you're all hot and bothered.”

 

“I'm going to admit something,” Zayn said when he had finished Liam and the other was changing clothes. (Hand jobs from ghosts weren't exactly neat.)

“What's that?” Liam asked, collapsing back onto his naked bed, deciding to put the new sheets on later.

“That was the closest thing to sex I've ever gotten,” Zayn said, and Liam lifted his head to better show his surprise.

“Really?”

“Yeah, well, I'm not into girls and I couldn't admit I liked boys, so...”

“So you died a virgin,” Liam said. “Tragic.”

“Shut up,” Zayn laughed, hitting Liam lightly in the face with a pillow. “Have you ever...with anyone?”

“A couple times,” Liam said nonchalantly. “Both times when I went on vacation with my parents and sneaked out of the hotel. I went through a rebel stage for one summer.”

“Sorry I missed that.”

“Me too.”

 

The next week went much more smoothly for Liam, and he was happy again.

“Glad to see you smiling,” Zayn said every now and then before kissing Liam, which just made him smile more.

 

The boys went to the cabin that weekend and it was even more fun than the first time, likely because they could then be considered proper friends. Liam even sang in the car on the way down and made Maxwell dance in his seat. Harry had added new pictures to the stairwell, and Liam was in some of them.

Louis, too, seemed happier on that trip. He even told Liam that his therapist was only expecting him to have to do a couple more sessions with her. When Liam asked if Louis agreed with that, he said he did and that he would always be sad over what happened, but it wasn't consuming his every thought anymore. Zayn nearly cried from happiness when Liam told him.

 

Christmas seemed to fly through and by, and Liam was almost glad when it was over because his parents were both in better moods during the holidays, wanting to spend much more (positive) time with Liam and his sisters, who were visiting from university. This was good, of course, but the business meant that Liam was often too distracted to pay much attention to Zayn, and he missed him.

“I'm sorry that we barely had any time together during break,” Liam said in the bathroom the first day back to school.

“It's okay,” Zayn assured him with a smile. “You were having fun. I'm glad.”

“Missed you though.”

“I was there. No need for all of that.”

“Walk me to class?”

 

There was a new kid in Liam's fifth class (and his last; gym, Liam would find out later,) and he was given the only empty seat in the class; the one right next to Liam, where he felt that Zayn was sitting invisibly. That theory was all but proven when the new kid-Seth-shivered upon sitting down.

“Bit drafty over here, isn't it?” he asked Liam.

“Sometimes,” Liam said. “I'm Liam, which I guess the instructor already told you. Nice to meet you.”

“Seth. Nice to meet you too,” the kid said with a friendly, pearly-white smile.

 

“I think that Seth kid likes you,” Zayn commented as he rode in Liam's car with him after school.

“What in the hell would make you think that?” Liam asked, turning on his blinker and looking over his shoulder to assure that he could safely switch lanes. He didn't miss the way that Zayn squeezed his eyes shut.

“Slow down, Liam, please.”

“Don't worry, you already died in a car wreck. You can’t die again,” Liam said teasingly.

“You can. But anyway, I saw him give you the once over and then get that big, cheesy smile.”

“You're crazy.”

“He's clearly gay.”

“Oh, yeah, totally, but that doesn't mean he likes me.”

“What's not to like?”

“Well, I'm socially awkward, have no job, still don't know what I want to do with my life...and I snore.”

“You baby snore. It's adorable,” Zayn said.

“You're weird.”

“Seth likes you.”

“Are you trying to pawn me off?” Liam asked, still mostly joking.

“No,” Zayn told him. “Just saying.”

 

Seth was also apparently in Niall's third class and the Irishman had invited him to sit with them at lunch the next day.

“Lads, this is Seth,” Niall introduced. “He's new. Seth, this is Louis and Harry, the boyfriends, and Liam.”

“I have a couple classes with Liam,” Seth said, smiling at the guy. Liam smiled back.

“Hey, how have your first couple of days gone?” he asked.

“Could be better, could be worse, but I'll survive it, right?”

“Probably,” Louis answered.

 

“Okay, he soooo likes you.”

“Zayn, he doesn't like me!” Liam insisted. It was the fourth time he'd said it since arriving at home that night. “I was almost asleep!”

“Sorry,” Zayn said, kissing Liam's forehead. “But he so does like you.”

Liam groaned, and loudly.

 

Though Liam still didn't believe that Seth was interested in him in any way except friendly, the two did get closer as weeks passed. It started when he had to go to Liam's place for a school project, but once the project was over, Liam found himself still inviting Seth over and, every time, he would accept. Soon, it got to the point where Liam didn't have to ask. It was just known that Seth would catch a ride back to Liam's place and stay until seven exactly, even if all they did was silently work on homework.

Still, every night, it was Zayn in bed with Liam, playing with his hair and humming until he fell asleep.

One night, Zayn wasn't humming.

“What's wrong?” Liam asked after waiting for a whole minute for the beautiful notes that had become his lullaby.

“Nothing,” Zayn said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Just tired.”

“Use a lot of energy today?”

“Mmm...”

“You can go rest if you have to.”

“I'll stay for a little bit.”

“Okay, if you're sure. I love you.”

“…Liam?” the ghost asked after a pause.

“Yeah?”

“I'm tired,” Zayn said again.

“Go rest, love. Honest, I'll be okay for one night.”

“No, Liam, I'm tired of being here. Not here with you, just...I'm tired of existing.”

“What?” Liam asked, fear settling into both his stomach and his chest as he rolled over to face Zayn. His eyes looked so sad. Liam felt sick.

“I'm not supposed to be here anymore, Liam,” he said. “It's wrong. We're wrong.”

“How...how can you say that?”

“Because it's true. It feels right because it was supposed to be, but...I'm dead, Liam.”

“Yeah, but you've been dead this whole time.”

“I know, but I was still clinging to life, to humanity...to you, and it's wrong. You can't live your life with a dead guy on your back.”

“Where is this coming from?” Liam asked, tears prickling his eyes. “We've been at this for nearly six months and its been fine so far.”

“Yes, but now you're getting ready to graduate and go to university.”

“You can just come with me.”

“That isn't the point. You're about to really start your life, Li, and I can't be a true part of it because I'm dead. What you're seeing right now isn't real. I'm buried underground, turning to nothing but bone. This me right here is just a spirit; a soul.”

“The soul is the real person, though,” Liam argued. “The body is just a shell.”

“Okay, we've gotten slightly off point.”

“No, we haven't! You just know that I'm right.”

“Liam, you're not understanding what I'm saying! You have so much love to give. I've felt that love and I cherish it, but you need to give that love to someone who can give you their life.”

“This is about Seth isn't it?!”

“No. I think you should ask Seth out, yeah, but even if it's not him, you need to be with a living, breathing person. I can't take you to dinner. I can’t go on dates with you and your friends. I can't completely satisfy you like you should be. I can't start a family with you and I can't grow old with you. I know you love me, Liam, but we're not practical and one day, you'll wake up and realize you threw your life away for a ghost and you will resent me.”

“I won't!” Liam exclaimed, openly and fully crying then, clinging onto Zayn's shirt tightly as if that could make him stay when Liam knew deep down how easy it would be for Zayn to leave.

“You will and you should! My life was taken from me too early, but now I'm taking yours too.”

“Don't be dramatic!”

“I'm not being dramatic. I'm telling it like it is, but you just can't see it right now. I have to go, Liam.”

“No!” Liam screamed, and he was very glad that his mother wasn't yet home from wherever she'd ventured off to after work. “Don't leave, Zayn! Please don't leave! I need you! Please don't leave!”

“Okay, okay, sh,” Zayn said, sounding alarmed. It felt like Liam's heart was going to beat right out of his chest.

“Don't leave!”

“Okay, Liam, sh...I'm sorry I upset you.”

Liam sniffled and gasped for breath, trying to calm himself as he buried his face into Zayn's shirt. He didn't relax until Zayn started humming.

 

Liam woke up alone, but that wasn't at all unusual. However, Zayn wasn't waiting for Liam by his locker and didn't meet him in the bathroom later, even after Liam waited for it to empty and then called Zayn's name over and over. Deep down, Liam felt that he'd known he wasn't going to be there, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

For the first time in over two months, Seth didn't go home with Liam after school; Liam telling him he felt really sick. The other guy was understanding and sent Liam a text later asking how he was. When Liam didn't reply, Seth sent another one saying that he hoped Liam was getting rest and would feel better in the morning.

As he knew he wouldn't, Liam didn't feel better in the morning. In fact he felt worse, likely due to the fact that he'd gotten next to no sleep.

He stayed home from school that day, part of him hoping that Zayn would come to see where he was. Liam didn't know why he was disappointed when that didn't happen because he'd known all along that it wouldn’t. He just couldn't help it. It didn't feel like Zayn was gone. Maybe he was finally going crazy, but Liam swore he still felt the other's presence. He wondered if he was going to be stuck hoping every day for a visit from Zayn, no matter how short, only to be disappointed over and over again.

When Liam returned to school the next day and Seth asked if he was feeling better, Liam told him that he was even though it was a lie. It would probably be a long time before Liam felt better, but he knew it was mostly mental and he couldn't explain that to the others, and wouldn't even if he could.

 

Liam thought he had accepted what was to be his permanent state of sadness, but that weekend, he'd discovered that he was wrong. He'd tried calling out to Zayn in the bathroom again the previous day and he'd spent his entire Saturday asking for him at home.

Liam refused to give into that lameness again on Sunday. Clearly, if Zayn was around, it was going to take a lot more than saying his name to get him to show himself, and Liam thought he knew just what that would be.

He smiled as he opened his bottom desk drawer.

 _Zayn doesn't care_ , Liam repeated to himself multiple times. Even once Liam was in the bathroom, his watch sitting on the sink instead of on his wrist and his tiny razor in hand, Zayn didn't come. Liam remembered when Zayn had told him that you didn't just walk away from someone you love. Either that was a lie or Zayn had never really loved Liam. The teen didn’t know which would be worse.

Though Liam hadn't been actually planning on cutting himself, having been sure Zayn would appear to stop him, he decided then that he might as well go for it.

The razor was inches from his skin before he finally heard that voice.

“What are you doing?!”

“Zayn,” Liam breathed a calm settling over him. He dropped the razor in the sink and turned, a smile on his face, though a small sob did escape his throat when he saw the beautiful (angry) face in front of him.

“You are here,” Liam said, stepping closer to Zayn. The ghost crossed his arms.

“Was all of this a ploy to get me to show myself?” he asked, his voice shaking slightly.

“No,” Liam said. “I was going to do it.”

“Why, Liam?” Zayn asked, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. “Why do you want to throw your life away?”

“I told you, I don't want to kill myself,” Liam said. “I just need a release.”

“Can't you, like, write or go for a run or something?”

Liam ignored that.

“You're still here,” he said.

“Not for long,” Zayn said. “I was sticking around until I made sure you were okay, but that clearly isn't going to work. Apparently you can still feel me, so you're never going to move on until I'm gone, and you won't be okay until then.”

“Just stay,” Liam pleaded.

“I told you, I'm tired.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“I also told you that. I was making sure you were alright.”

“I'm not.”

“You will be.”

“Only if you stay.”

“We've talked about this, Liam,” Zayn said, and he did suddenly sound exhausted. The remaining smile on Liam's face fell away and tears sprang to his eyes.

“Why did you even come around if you were going to just leave?! You knew what you were doing and now you don't even care!”

“I do care, and I'm sorry. I really didn't know I would fall in love with you, though, and I especially didn't expect you to fall in love with me.”

“Well, I did, and now you're just going to leave me?!”

“Liam, we have discussed this,” Zayn said again. “I can't stay. I finished my business. I have to move on now.”

“No!”

 _Love isn't selfish_ , Liam silently reminded himself. Moving on was good for Zayn so Liam should be happy for him.

But it had been an awfully selfish move of Zayn to use him to finish his business, insisting that he loved him and was going to stay when he wasn't, so fuck all of that, Liam decided.

Zayn stepped forward as Liam began crying harder and Liam's eyes fluttered shut as the ghost leaned up to kiss his forehead. He didn't open them again afterward-he couldn't.

“I'm sorry I hurt you,” Zayn said, “but don't use that as an excuse to hurt yourself. Things will be okay one day, Liam. You've got so much life ahead of you. Live it.”

“But I'm going to miss you.”

“I know, but I have to go.”

As Zayn placed a last kiss to Liam's forehead, the teen couldn't speak; too busy gasping for breath.

“Goodbye, Liam.”

Liam kept his eyes shut, still refusing to say that word. Only after he felt a small gust of wind go past him and he lost sense of the other's presence did Liam open his eyes. Sure enough, Zayn was gone.

Letting out a loud sob, Liam turned back to the sink, reaching in for his razor. He knew it wouldn't bring Zayn back this time, but he had to do it.

Except, when he looked down, he saw that his razor was gone too.

 

Zayn might have been the one who was dead and gone, but Liam walked around the next couple of weeks like he was a zombie. He only slept fitfully and he ate much less than normal. His friends showed their concern, but Liam claimed he was merely stressing over the upcoming finalization of his parents' divorce. Truthfully, he didn't care about that anymore. He didn't care about anything. But his friends had accepted that excuse and told Liam that they were there for him. Liam appreciated it, even if the words didn't do anything.

Not once since that day that Zayn told him goodbye had Liam called out for him. He didn't feel Zayn anymore. He was gone. Liam knew he was gone.

On the three week mark, despite knowing it was pointless, Liam tried one more time to call out to Zayn in that gross school bathroom. When it changed nothing, Liam vowed to never step foot in that bathroom again.

That should have been all Liam needed to finally accept the fact that Zayn was truly not there, but there was one more thing he had to try, just in case.

After taking his shaving razor apart, leaving the blade in the palm of his hand,Liam looked over his shoulder only to see a pale blue wall. Sighing, he put the razor against his skin and waited. Nothing. Zayn wasn't going to stop him. Liam could cut as much and as deeply as he wanted. Maybe he'd even take his chances and cut vertically that time.

This razor was much newer than the other Liam had been using, leaving the cuts cleaner, but deeper.

While, usually, Liam used self-harm as a way to stop crying, the blood brought on the tears that time. It was dangerous; the tears making it hard to see exactly where Liam was cutting, but he didn't care. He still cared about nothing, not even his own life.

Four cuts later-three horizontal and one vertical-Liam stopped, throwing the weapon into the sink with a defeated shout. He watched the blood rise to the surface of his skin and drop off in little diamonds, the sight calming him.

Maybe Zayn was right. Maybe he did need help, but he didn't care enough to worry about it.

Once the throbbing in Liam's arm began to make him dizzy (he surely hadn't lost enough blood for that to happen), Liam bandaged his wounds and cleaned up. He wasn't sure when his tears had stopped, but he was glad that they had. Of course, it was kind of hard to cry when you didn't feel anything. Even his arm seemed numb after a while.

Liam went to bed once the bathroom was left bloodless, and slept better than he had in a long while.

 

That weekend, Seth insisted on taking Liam out for ice cream, saying that he knew something was wrong and that ice cream was the best cure for sadness. Liam knew that the ice cream wasn't going to help one bit, but he'd smiled to the best of his ability and agreed to let Seth pick him up and take him out the next day.

“Sorry about the car,” he apologized as Liam climbed into the passenger seat. “I would clean it out, but it's my brother's and I feel like that would be doing him too much of a favor.”

“It's okay,” Liam assured him, smiling a little easier than he had yesterday. “So you have a brother. Any other siblings?”

The ice cream place wasn't too far away, but Liam still learned a lot about Seth and vice versa on the way. They discussed their families, hobbies and plans for after graduation. Liam was glad to discover that he wasn't the only one freaking out because he had no idea where his life was going.

The pair's conversation continued at the parlor after they'd gotten their ice cream. Seth did most of the talking, but Liam piped in when he needed to and answered questions when the other asked. He didn't mind listening at all, though. He was actually having a good time and even almost let Zayn slip from his mind for a minute or two.

“So, Liam,” Seth said after a brief lapse in conversation.

“Hm?” Liam hummed, taking a bite from his cone; the only part of his snack that was left.

“This may be a very forward question and you can go get a cup of water to throw in my face if you want, but what are your scars about?”

“What?” Liam asked, his heart missing a beat as he instinctively flicked his sleeves further down.

“Your scars,” Seth repeated as if Liam had only not heard him. “I saw them a while ago, but I didn't say anything because they looked old and I figured you wouldn't want to talk about something you'd left in the past, but now there are new ones. What happened? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I'm good,” Liam said, his cheeks burning. “Sorry, didn't realize they were visible.”

Seth must have seen them in the locker room in P.E., Liam realized. Any other time, he either had on long sleeves or a watch.

“Why are you apologizing?” Seth wondered, but continued before Liam had to mumble out an awkward answer. “I'm just worried about you, mate. Is it the divorce?”

“Um, no. Not anymore,” Liam said, shifting uncomfortably. He didn't have to tell Seth anything, he knew, but since he had been only the second person to notice, Liam thought he at least deserved an explanation. “It used to be over my parents' fighting. I thought if they noticed, it would give them something else to worry about instead, but, um, they didn't notice.”

“Parents,” Seth said with a roll of his eyes. “They're so self-absorbed, but they think we're under the illusion that the whole world revolves around us.”

Liam gave a nervous smile, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Seth went on.

“So what are the new ones for?”

“A boy,” Liam sighed. Seth perked up curiously.

“A boy?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn't know you were seeing anyone.”

“No one really did. It's complicated; a long distance thing,” Liam said, thinking fast.

“Huh,” Seth said, leaning forward. “Well, whoever that guy is must have been an idiot because no smart bloke would break your heart.”

“Thanks,” Liam said with a small laugh, setting the remainder of his cone on a napkin. Suddenly, he wasn't all that hungry.

“I'm serious,” Seth insisted. “If I'd known you liked guys, I would have made a move a lot sooner.”

“You don't have to say that,” Liam told him, but he could feel his recently cooled face starting to heat up again.

“I'm not just saying that. Seriously, I know you just got out of something, but when you're ready, I'd like to take you out. Like, actually out, and not just to an an ice cream shop.”

“I think that would be nice,” Liam said with the most genuine smile he'd had in a while.

 

It only took a couple of weeks for Liam to tell Seth that he was ready for that date. That didn't mean he was moved on from Zayn. He knew that there would be a part of him that kept hoping and wishing for the other for a long time, but since Zayn apparently didn't care about his hopes and dreams, he had to try to move on.

Liam was determined not to make Seth just a rebound, though. He did genuinely enjoy his company and liked the guy for himself.

Still, it was hard for him to never compare him to Zayn. For instance, while Zayn would cuddle with Liam and remain quiet when the two were watching a show, Seth liked to keep a running commentary. He was a much louder person in general than the other teen had been, and much needier in the area of physical affection as well.

In contrast to Zayn, Seth was warm when Liam touched him. Liam could feel Seth's breath against his neck, and when he touched his chest, he felt a heartbeat. These should have been good things, but Liam wasn't sure he really liked it all that much. Even though he'd been cold, Liam was much more comfortable snuggling next to Zayn.

But Seth was a great guy and Liam knew he couldn't fairly compare him to perfection.

 

Seth and Liam never used the terms 'boyfriend' or 'relationship.' They went out together almost every weekend and made love almost every day of the week, but Liam didn't know what they were. He was too afraid to ask, not sure of the answer he wanted.

Still, the two went to the end of year dance together and even planned on going to the same university in the fall. Though Liam still wasn't completely sure of what he wanted to do, he would start and at least get his main courses out of the way.

 

Liam's parents and siblings all attended his graduation and sat together, not fighting. His dad had even rubbed his mom's back when she started crying. The childish part of Liam had an inkling of hope that this meant they would reconcile, but he knew better. It didn't ruin his day anyway.

“Thank God we're out of this hell hole!” Louis exclaimed after the ceremony was over and the five friends were involved in a group hug.

“Tell me about it,” Liam said with a small laugh.

“Congratulations, boys.”

All five broke from the hug to turn and face the woman who had spoken to them; Zayn's mother. When Louis saw her, he let out an audible gasp and ran from the group to throw himself into Trisha's arms like she was his mom. Of course, Louis had said that he and Zayn had known each other since they were in diapers, so maybe she kind of was.

Trisha and Louis hugged for a good few moments and then broke apart, looking quite emotional. Both held themselves together pretty well, though.

“Hello, Harry; Niall,” Trisha said, and then did a double-take upon seeing Liam. “Oh, hi! How are you boys?”

All of them (besides Seth, who looked quite confused) assured her that they were doing well and returned the question. She said that she was 'better every day.'

Slyly, Harry soon led the boys away, leaving only Louis to talk to Trisha. He returned to them soon, still looking emotional, but also happier; lighter, even.

Harry was throwing a party at his dad's place that night. Though it wasn't the cabin, it was still nice and had a good turn out.

“Alex's party has to be flopping with the amount of people here,” Niall, who had decided to stay around for university after all, commented as he looked around and then happily sipped on his punch.

“The ultimate karma,” Harry said.

 

Even though he was surrounded by his best friends, eating all the junk food he wanted and with a good alcohol supply nearby, should he decide he wanted anymore than the single one he'd had; as well as with the knowledge that he never had to step foot in secondary school again, Liam couldn't quite enjoy himself that night. He didn't feel the greatest, for one thing. His head wasn't pounding, but there was enough pain to be a nagging problem, and that mixed with the feeling of the bass from the loud music and the heat from so many sweaty bodies was making Liam feel a little sick.

Like the good guy he was, Seth sat with Liam for a while when it was clear he wasn't feeling well. However, on the second time that Liam had told him that he could go and have fun; that he just needed a few more minutes, Seth was off.

Sighing, Liam rubbed his forehead and contemplated just leaving. He doubted if he would actually feel much better anytime that night, and he wasn't in the partying mood anyway. He was being boring and, not wanting to bring down the party, he should just go.

Just as Liam was standing to find Seth and tell him goodbye, the other teen approached him.

“How are you feeling?” Seth asked when he saw Liam getting up.

“About the same,” the guy answered. “I was just about to tell you that I was going to head out, but I'll come back and pick you up when you're ready to go.”

“Oh, that's okay,” Seth said. “I'll just find a ride with someone else. Thanks, though.”

“You're welcome,” Liam returned. An awkward few moments passed between the two, Seth only speaking again after Liam had started bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet.

“So, what are we?” he asked. Liam's stomach dropped. There was the question; the one he'd been asking himself but hadn't really wanted the answer to, and now that it was him who was being asked, he had no idea what to say.

“What do you mean?” he asked, only to stall.

“Like, are we friends with benefits or boyfriends or...what?”

“Oh,” Liam said, and then he had to admit, “I have no idea.”

Seth nodded.

“Well, what do you want to be?” he asked.

 _I don't know_ , Liam almost answered before realizing that it would be a terrible reply. Staring at the other guy blankly probably wasn’t any better, though, and it apparently relayed the same message.

“Okay,” Seth said to Liam's non-answer. “Well, um, I was actually thinking of, uh, going to a different university than the one we talked about, but...um...maybe I'll see you around?”

“Yeah. I'm sure we will,” Liam said, feeling like a terrible person for being relieved. Seth was a great person and he could have been good for Liam if he'd let him, but deep down, he knew that there would always be a part of himself that was closed off to the other.

“Good luck with everything, Liam. Oh, and I hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks. Good luck to you too.”

Seth nodded and then turned slowly. He paused before beginning to walk away, and for a moment, Liam thought he was going to turn around, but he didn't. Liam was glad for the both of them.

It took a good few minutes for Liam to find any of his three friends back in the party, and when he did locate one of them, it was Niall.

“Hey, Ni.”

“Hey,” Niall said. He was clearly tipsy and he pulled Liam into a tight hug, but Liam didn't mind.

“Where's Harry?” Liam asked once the two pulled apart.

“Upstairs with Louis,” Niall replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Should have guessed that,” Liam said with a small laugh. “Well, hey, I think I'm going to head out. Can you tell Harry and Louis bye for me?”

“Of course,” Niall said with a frown on his face, “but why are you leaving so soon?”

“I'm not feeling the greatest,” Liam admitted.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Just a headache that's slowly turning into a migraine, but I just need to sleep it off.”

“You can go lie down upstairs. I know Harry won't mind,” Niall offered. Liam gave a smile, but declined.

“I don't live too far away,” he said. “I can make it home.”

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Just one, a while ago. I'm sober, I promise.”

“You sure you don't need a ride or anything?”

“I'll be fine. Don't worry.”

Niall studied Liam for a moment, still frowning, and then he hugged him again.

“Text me when you make it home?”

“Sure, if you want.”

Niall nodded.

“Please,” he said, “and you're coming to Harry's cabin with us next weekend, right?”

“Definitely.”

“Good.”

“Enjoy the rest of the party, Ni. See you soon.”

“Bye, Li. I hope your head feels better soon.”

 

Liam was mildly regretting not accepting the offer to stay at Harry's as he drove home. He was starting to feel sicker; his headache getting worse, and it was not helped at all when headlights on the otherwise dark highway shone right in his eyes. It took Liam longer than it should have to realize that shouldn't be happening; that someone was driving on the wrong side of the road and getting closer to him.

Gasping, Liam swerved, his car narrowly missing being hit. A horn blared, and he didn't think he'd honked, but when he glanced in his rear view mirror, still driving, he didn't see the other car anymore. They'd sure sped off quickly, so apparently they were okay.

The sound of the horn still blared in Liam's ears and a white hot pain shot through his head, getting worse when he coughed. His eyes were growing so heavy. He needed to get home ASAP and sleep.

“Liam?”

The teen's eyes opened painfully wide at that voice saying his name, but, of course, there was no one else in his car, so he must have imagined it.

“Liam! No! Stay with me!”

Zayn. The voice that called Liam's name truly had belonged to Zayn, and the teen excitedly looked around for a glimpse of the other boy, but he didn't get one.

“Liam, baby, no!”

“No what Zayn?” Liam asked, his voice slurred from how exhausted he suddenly was.

“Stay with me, Li! Can you hear me?”

“Yes, I can hear you, but you're the one that left!”

“Liam! Shit! No! Li!”

“Zayn, you're being weird. I have to sleep, okay?”

“Baby, stay with me, okay?”

“It hurts, Zayn.”

“What hurts?”

Liam was going to answer, but, suddenly, he was in front of his house. He must have been driving much faster than he'd thought. Oops. He couldn’t find it in himself to care too much, though, and he turned off his car before hurrying inside and up to his bed. His body seemed to melt into the mattress.

“You still here, Zayn?” he asked.

“I'm still here, baby.”

Zayn sounded so upset, and Liam wanted to know why and help him, but he was slipping off no matter how hard he tried to stay awake. He could only hope that Zayn would stay until morning.

“I'm sorry, but it hurts,” he whispered.

“It's okay,” Zayn said, and Liam thought he felt the other kiss his forehead, like he used to when Liam was on the brink of drifting off. “Sleep now, gorgeous boy. It's going to be okay.”

“Good night, Zayn,” Liam managed, and though he was in pain, he was also more comfortable than he had been in a while, and he smiled a bit before his consciousness faded entirely.

*******************

Zayn had been pushing his luck to keep an eye on Liam all day. After that night, he would leave. Liam was going to be okay, he was almost sure of it.

As much as he'd wanted Liam to believe he'd already moved on, he just couldn't do it. Though Liam probably didn't believe it, Zayn loved him and there was no way his soul could rest easily when Liam had been so sad. He hadn't read any danger levels in the boy's energy in a while-not since the last time he'd cut himself (and that would have killed Zayn all over again if possible), but he still wasn't happy. He had fleeting moments of joy, but they always left almost as quickly as they had come. Every time Zayn wanted to take Liam in his arms and make him feel like everything would be okay. He missed his smile and his laugh and, selfishly, he missed humming him to sleep at night.

But that was besides the point because as much as Zayn missed Liam, he kept his distance most of the time. It had been made clear that Liam could feel his presence, so when Zayn did come around, he never stayed for more than a couple minutes. He also made sure only to come around when there was something worrisome about Liam's energy, just to make sure he was okay, or at least going to survive.

That day-graduation day-was one of Liam's better days. He was nervous, but he was happy. Of course he was. Liam had hated secondary school. Zayn was glad he never had to put a foot back into it.

He wished Liam could have known that he had hidden Alex's cap and that the bully ran around frantically for five whole minutes before coming across it on his chair, where he'd thought all along he'd set it.

Things started to go downhill at Harry's party. Liam's sadness had come back, and something on him hurt physically as well. Still, it wasn't the worst that Zayn had felt the other boy, so he told himself that he would be fine.

When Liam left the party early, a bad feeling overwhelmed Zayn, but it was normal for him to be worried about Liam. Love was worrying, it seemed.

Tears welled up in Zayn's eyes as he watched Liam exit through the door, and he wanted to reach out to him, but of course, he didn't. He wasn't ready to never see Liam's beautiful face or hear his voice or laugh ever again, but he had to move on. He hadn't lied to Liam; he was tired, but every time he tried to let go, he couldn't.

Though he promised himself he would finally move on that night, Zayn decided he could wait a little longer after Liam left the party. Technically, it wasn't the end of the night yet. He had a little more time. Perhaps he could check on Liam for one last time; adjust his blankets if he looked cold and leave some medicine by his bed in case whatever was hurting him was still bothering him when he woke.

For most people, Zayn had to be on the same property to pick up on their energy, but with Liam, he could be anywhere. This was both a blessing and curse, as Zayn saw it, though he knew if given the chance, he wouldn't trade it away.

As the minutes passed, Liam's pain increased. Zayn bit his lip, having to remind himself repeatedly that Liam was perfectly capable of taking care of himself and that living humans just got sick sometimes.

Then, something worse happened; Liam's energy started to get weaker. This happened all the time while he was sleeping, kind of, but this time was different because Liam wasn't at rest. On the contrary, his stress levels had never been higher, but, still, he was fading.

Terrified, Zayn looked around and knocked a cup onto the ground just to ensure he wasn't the one growing weaker. He wasn't.

Zayn hadn't had a heartbeat for a very long time, but if he'd had one, it would be about to pound right out of his chest. Gathering as much energy as he could from his surroundings, Zayn followed Liam's extremely weak signals until he stopped in the middle of a highway facing two cars; one of which was smashed into the wall on the side of the road. The other car was standing sideways in the middle of the highway, and the front was bent up as well, but it was far less damaged than the other.

The person in the less damaged car was unconscious, but he was also drunk, and it felt as if that had a lot more to do with why he was out than with his injuries because, while he was pretty seriously injured, his energy was strong. The person in the other car was in bad shape; his signal so weak that it took Zayn a few moments to realize that it was Liam. When he did, he let out a shriek that was akin to a banshee.

In the next instant, he was inside of the car, staring right at his injured love. Liam was unconscious, his body slumped against his horn. Zayn was surprised he hadn't heard the noise before.

Blood was drizzling from Liam's head, nose and mouth.

“No, no, no,” Zayn whispered to himself, tears already rolling down his cheeks, and then he said, loudly, “Liam!”

To his surprise, the boy's eyes opened at the sound of his name, but Liam winced and coughed and then they closed again, his previously relaxed face now twisted in pain as he fell sideways off of the horn, his head in Zayn's lap.

“Liam! No! Stay with me!” Zayn urged. He was almost sure he felt his un-beating heart breaking. This wasn't how it was supposed to end for Liam. Even sad, he had so much love and life inside of him, and things would get better for him; Zayn knew it.

That time, Liam didn't respond to his words, his energy at an all time low.

“Shit,” Zayn whispered to himself again, and he moved Liam gently so that he could look around until he found Liam's phone under the front passenger seat. Somehow, it was unscathed save for a tiny crack in the screen. Most importantly, it was usable. Positioning Liam back onto his lap, Zayn dialed.

“What's your emergency?” a calm female voice answered. He was sure he wasn't supposed to do this and would likely spend days gathering his energy again, but he didn't care. All he asked was that he last long enough to either help Liam to wake or, if the worst happened, help him to the other side.

“There's been a car wreck. Please help,” Zayn said, and he had no shame at the moment to care how broken his voice sounded.

“Are you injured sir?”

“No, I'm not, but my boyfriend, he...”

Zayn swallowed. The calm lady continued.

“Help is already on the way, sir. Your boyfriend, is he injured?”

“Yes.”

“Is he breathing?”

“Yes, but it's getting slower...he's dying.”

“Just try to stay calm, love. Are there others involved?”

“Yes, one other man in the other car. He's unconscious too.”

“Okay. Can you explain to me what happened please?”

“Just please hurry,” Zayn whispered before hanging up. Help was on its way, so the lady had done all she could do.

As Zayn set Liam's phone carefully on the seat next to him, the alive teen let out a slow breath before uncurling the fist he'd been making, the pain in his face going away. Under normal circumstances, Zayn would be glad that Liam appeared to not be feeling pain, but now, it just served to terrify him more.

“Liam, baby, no!” he cried, the tears coming faster. “Stay with me, Li! Can you hear me?”

There was no verbal reply, but a single tear rolled down Liam's cheek, breaking Zayn's heart all over again.

“Liam! Shit! No! Li!”

He was desperate. Liam was clinging to life so hard, but he was losing the fight, and while Zayn would love to have Liam with him for all of eternity, he'd accepted that it wasn't possible. Liam was to live a long, happy life with someone who could really be with him. That was how it should be.

“Sleep…,” Liam muttered, giving Zayn an inkling of hope, at least until he comprehended exactly what he'd said.

“Baby, stay with me, okay?”

Zayn tried to brush a stray strand of hair from Liam's head, but it got stuck to the blood already drying. Zayn shrieked again. _Where was the ambulance?_

“Hurts, Zayn.”

“What hurts?”

Liam fell silent, his breath growing shallower.

“Baby, hey, talk to me.”

But Liam didn't move or say a word, and in the next moment, Zayn heard sirens. He made himself invisible and watched as the drunk, who was already starting to regain consciousness, and Liam were pulled from their cars.

“What-what'd I do?” the drunk slurred, and while the medics attempted to help him keep calm, 'calm' didn't exactly fit in Zayn's dictionary at the moment.

“You killed him!” he yelled, a bit melodramatically since Liam wasn't actually dead yet, but prospects weren't so great and Zayn knew that. Besides, he hadn't expected the man to be able to hear him, but at his words, he began moving his eyeballs frantically, searching the best he could with his neck brace.

“I didn't mean to!” he cried. Zayn maybe should have taken pity, as he could feel from the man's energy that he truly was sorry, but sorry wouldn’t save Liam's life.

“He's a seventeen-year-old boy who just graduated today and was headed off to university in the fall and you killed him!”

The man started openly bawling then, and while the professionals continued to do their best in calming him, Liam was finally getting loaded into the back of his own ambulance, so Zayn joined him.

“Still here?” Liam asked, his voice only a whisper as Zayn was back at his side.

“What did he say?” a medic asked. Zayn tuned him out.

“I'm still here, baby.”

Somehow, a small smile touched Liam's face then, just for an instant, before his face went slack again.

“We're losing him, lads!” a medic called out frantically as Liam's heart monitor started to panic.

“I'm sorry, but it hurts,” Liam whispered. One of the medics actually started to cry, but he wasn't alone because Zayn was crying too.

“It's okay,” Zayn said softly as he leaned forward to place a kiss to Liam's forehead. It wasn't okay, of course, because Zayn would always believe that it wasn't supposed to end this way, but the thing he wanted most now was for Liam to be out of pain and if this was the ending that was going to happen anyway, then Zayn just wanted it to be over. “Sleep now, gorgeous boy,” he continued. “It will be okay.”

Liam gave one more small smile before he flat-lined, and then shouts and orders filled the back of the ambulance, but Zayn barely heard them. Closing his eyes against his own tears, he pressed his lips to Liam's still-warm forehead again, kissing him and then speaking against his skin.

“I've got you now.”

 

As every science class in basically every year of school taught, energy can not be created or destroyed. Zayn knew that Liam's energy was still somewhere even though he couldn't feel it.

He tried to remain hopeful. Perhaps Liam had moved on; his energy traveling to nature to help it grow or whatever. That would be good. Liam deserved peace. Even though that meant Zayn may really never see him again (because who knew what happened when you went to the light, really), Zayn would be happy if Liam had found peace. However, though Zayn was hopeful, he wasn't naive. He knew the likelihood of that was slim. Liam was taken unexpectedly at a young age. He was bound to have bitter feelings and unanswered questions, unfinished business or all of the above.

Zayn hung around the morgue with Liam's body for a while. A couple others arrived in the short time he was there, looking forlornly at their former selves, but never Liam. Still, that didn't mean anything. He hadn't seen his own body either. He'd simply appeared in front of Liam's locker one day, out of nowhere; only putting the pieces together when he saw the 'rest in peace' sign on his own locker. Then he remembered it all, and he'd been scared and angry for all of a day before realizing there was nothing he could do about his fate and accepting it.

Liam's death, though, was another issue. Zayn would be angry over that for a while.

When Mrs. Payne arrived, Zayn fled. He'd seen enough hurt from his own mom. Even though Liam's mom hadn't been around a lot, she loved her son and was terrified that the body she was about to face was, in fact, her child's.

For the first time since he died, Zayn decided to haunt a graveyard. That was sure to be fun, right?

Sadly, the ghost was left disappointed. Teens didn't break into graveyards nearly as much as they did in movies. Even if there had been someone to scare, Zayn's heart wasn't in it. He just wanted to feel Liam's energy again, or at least be assured that he was okay.

Finally, when the sun began rising, Zayn felt something. It was just a slight vibration, like Zayn felt whenever Liam was waking, but it was so familiar that it had to belong to the other boy. Excited, Zayn followed it and ended up in Liam's bedroom, sitting on the bed by the guy's feet as he moved his head and rubbed his eyes, attempting to wake. It was so typical of Liam that Zayn had to remind himself that Liam wasn't coming out of a sleep, but instead was in an eternal sleep; his spirit merely rising from the trauma it had just been put through.

Liam's eyes fluttered open and focused on Zayn for a moment before closing again. Then, they flew open, Liam sitting up so fast that he surely would have gotten dizzy if such a thing were possible.

“Zayn!” he exclaimed, a huge smile breaking across his face. Despite everything, Zayn smiled too. He couldn't help it. It had been so long since he'd seen Liam's smile and even longer since he'd been able to talk to him.

“Hey, baby,” Zayn returned.

“You didn't leave?”

“No.”

“Why? I mean, I'm glad, kind of, but...I thought you were ready?”

“I told you, you don't just walk away from someone you love. I had to make sure you were going to be okay.”

“I feel great now,” Liam said, but then his smile turned to a slight frown. “Well, I feel great besides the light. Can you turn it off, please? Not to be lazy, but I'm exhausted.”

Like Liam's, Zayn's smile quickly turned to a frown.

“The light isn't on, love,” he said, nervous for the news he was about to deliver.

“Then what is that?” Liam asked, putting one hand over his eyes. “God, it's bright.”

“Liam, what all do you remember about last night?”

“Um...that was graduation night, right? And Harry's party?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. Okay. I remember leaving because I had a migraine and...oh, you were in the car with me, weren't you?!”

Liam uncovered his eyes, but winced against the light that only he could see.

“Liam, look at the light and say you're not ready yet.”

“What?”

Zayn repeated himself, telling Liam to trust him when he asked why he would ask him to say that. Once he did, he smiled again.

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Now, what else do you remember from when you were driving home?”

“What do you mean?”

“You don't remember a car driving on the other side of the road?”

“Oh, yeah, I do. The blockhead almost hit me, too, but I swerved out of the way just in time.”

A sadness that was more intense than the one he was already feeling settled itself upon Zayn. He was glad that he was here to help Liam through this, but he would give the world to not have to bring this news.

“No, baby, you didn't,” Zayn said. Liam's smile flipped again.

“What do you mean?”

Zayn took Liam's hand, making circles into his skin with his thumb.

“They hit you, love. Your car spun and hit the wall on the side of the highway head on. The ambulance came and we all tried, but you...you didn't make it, babe.”

Liam stared at Zayn for a good while, his eyebrows pulled together as the gears in his head turned, and then, finally, he spoke.

“Did I drop acid at that party or something?”

“No,” Zayn said, laughing even though there was nothing funny about the situation. He cleared his throat. “I wish you were on a weird trip, baby, but…well...it looks like you have me for eternity, if that's what you want.”

“Of course that's what I want, you knob,” Liam said without any hesitation.

“Okay, love, I'm glad, but...I don't think you're really absorbing what happened to you.”

“I died,” Liam said nonchalantly.

“Yes...”

“I'm okay with it,” Liam assured him. Zayn wanted that to be true and he thought that, for the moment, it was, but Liam was probably in shock. He clearly couldn't remember dying yet, so it probably hadn't fully hit him. Even if it had, he probably wasn't considering what being dead actually meant. Right then, Liam was just so happy to be reunited with Zayn that Zayn doubted he was thinking about everyone he had left behind.

That pain would come soon enough, Zayn told himself. For the moment, he could allow Liam to be happy.

“Sorry I couldn't save you, baby,” Zayn whispered as he laid next to Liam. With a smile, Liam scooted over, snuggling as close as he possibly could to the other.

“You don't feel cold anymore,” he noted. “You fell...well...normal.”

“We're on the same plane now,” Zayn explained.

“I'm glad we are.”

Instead of telling Liam that he wished with all his heart that he was still breathing, Zayn placed a kiss on top of the other's head. The point was that Liam _wasn't_ breathing. He had died, and while Zayn mourned his life, he had Liam forever in the afterlife now, and that could never be considered a true tragedy.

Liam faded after only a couple minutes, going to sleep in the ghostly realms of rest, but Zayn wasn't afraid that time. Liam was new to this ghost business and it would take a while for him to build up the skill or energy to stay active for very long.

It was only then that Zayn realized that he had been active for nearly twelve hours. He never would have thought that possible before. Perhaps ghosts could have something akin to an adrenaline rush.

Whatever it was that had kept Zayn going for so long was starting to fade, so Zayn let himself drift off as well, but he kept a tight awareness of Liam's energy, wanting to sleep only until the other awakened. He knew they had forever, but he didn't want to miss a second of it.

 

As Zayn knew it would, it only took about a day for Liam's death to really hit him, but, while he'd been upset only after checking on his family and finding them crying, he handled it a lot better than Zayn could have imagined.

“Some people just aren’t meant for life, Zayn,” he had told him. “I think I've always felt like one of them.”

“But….when you'd hurt yourself, you really weren't…?”

“No, I wasn't trying to kill myself, but now that I'm dead, I feel like I'm right where I should be. The others will move on. People always do.”

“Well,” Zayn said. “I'm still sorry that you were taken before you really got to live, but I am glad that you're choosing to spend your afterlife with me.”

After just a brief pause, Zayn added,

“Well, unless you want to move on? Because if so, you totally should. Maybe we can still be together, I don't know, but either way, I want you to have peace.”

“I have peace here, like this,” Liam assured him. “What about you, though? Aren't you tired?”

“Actually, I'm not now that you're here.”

“Hey, Zayn?” Liam asked then.

“Yeah?”

“Does this mean we're soul mates? Like, literally soul mates...Get it? Cuz we're souls...and we're mates...”

“You're such a dork,” Zayn said with a laugh, and then he pulled Liam into a kiss. Liam touched his face as their lips met and, somehow, his touch was still electric.

 

It was the night after Liam's funeral that Zayn decided that Louis was ready for a visit. He went to him in his sleep so as not to startle him and cause him to wake the whole house. Besides, Harry was a lot less likely to send him off if he said he'd seen Zayn while sleeping than while awake.

“Zayn!” Louis exclaimed when the dead boy had succeeded in taking over his dream.

“Hey, Lou,” Zayn said, a huge smile threatening to split his face. “Missed you, mate.”

“I missed you too! Zayn, I want to say that I'm so sorry-”

“Save it,” Zayn interrupted. “You don't have anything to apologize for. Nothing that happened was your fault. I just wanted to tell you that, and that I'm okay.”

“Why don't you ever come around?”

“I'm here a lot more often than you think,” Zayn told him. “I was just waiting until you were ready to show myself.”

“Well, I'm ready now. Show yourself sometimes, yeah?”

“Okay, if you promise not to freak out and make everyone think you're even crazier than you really are.”

That made Louis laugh. Zayn had missed that; making his best friend laugh.

“Okay. Deal.”

“Maybe I can bring Liam along too?” Zayn suggested. Louis's eyes widened. Even outwardly, he twitched in his sleep. Briefly, Harry opened his eyes, but after getting close to Louis, he went right back to sleep. Luckily, Louis stayed asleep too.

“Liam's with you?!”

“Yeah. I have him,” Zayn assured the other. “He wanted me to tell you that he's safe and happy.”

“Good,” Louis said, but he was beginning to get emotional and his conscious mind was trying to wake, so Zayn had to wrap things up quickly.

“I have to go, but I'll see you soon.”

“Will _I_ see _you_ though?”

“As long as you keep up your end of the deal.”

“I promise.”

“Okay then. You'll see me soon. Love you, Lou.”

“Love you too, Z.”

“One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“When you wake, you will probably wonder if this is just a dream, but it's not. This is real.”

“Fuck, I miss you.”

“I'll be here. No need for that.”

“You better be.”

 

“Hey, Zayn?”

“Yeah, Li?”

“Is green your favorite color?”

“It is, but why do you ask?”

“I've just been wondering. The boys sent off green balloons at your memorial and your sketchbook is bright green.”

“Oh, yeah. It is my favorite color. I was at at that memorial, you know.”

“I thought I felt someone!”

“Yep. That was me; just standing behind you the whole time, checking out your arse.”

“Creepy.”

“Hey, you have a nice arse and I'm only human.”

“Actually, you're barely human now.”

“Well...you still can't blame a ghost, can you?”

Liam smiled, bopping Zayn on the nose before scooting himself over so that their heads were on the same pillow. Currently, the ghosts were taking residence in Liam's mom's house, at least until his mother put in sage again. Perhaps she wouldn't, though, because she'd developed a tendency of going in Liam's room and just sitting on his bed during the past month that he'd been gone. She missed her son, and maybe she could feel his presence as he put his arm around her. Zayn hoped so.

“Hey, Li, do you still have my sketchbook?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah. It's in my closet.”

Floating into Liam's closet, Zayn quickly found the book on the top shelf and brought it back to the bed.

“What are you doing?” Liam questioned curiously.

“Drawing Harry and Niall a picture.”

“Why them?”

“If I can convince them that ghosts are real and that we're here, we can communicate openly with Lou all the time. Those two might not be able to see us, but we can talk to them through Louis and maybe it will almost be like we're not dead sometimes.”

Liam didn't say anything, but rested his head on Zayn's shoulder while he watched him draw.

“That should get the point across,” Liam commented when Zayn finished. It wasn't his best work, but he'd done it quickly and, besides, drawing used a lot of energy. Still, he didn't crumble up the picture and throw it away like he usually did when a creation didn’t measure up to his expectations. As long as Liam was right and it got the point cross, it would be good enough, and Zayn didn't know how much more obvious he could get than a drawing of both himself and Liam as ghosts and holding hands. At the top, he wrote to Niall and Harry, respectively, and signed the bottom.

“In the least, it will freak them out and that will be hilarious,” Zayn decided. Liam giggled.

“You tired, babe?” he asked. “I can deliver these while you get some rest.”

“That would be great. Thanks, love.”

“No problem. See you soon.”

“Hey, Li?”

“Hm?”

“You get some rest too after you drop those off, okay? I want to take you somewhere soon, but we'll need lots of power for it.”

“Where are we going?”

“Italy, of course.”

“Yes, of course.”

Liam gave Zayn a kiss as the teen felt himself fading.

“Okay. I'll get some rest. I'm excited for our first vacation together,” Liam said.

“Our first of many. We can travel the world, Liam.”

“We can. It should only take about a century or two, right?”

“You say that like it's a long time.”

Again, Liam giggled. Zayn smiled, but he felt himself glitch out again and knew he really did have to go, just for a while.

“See you soon, gorgeous boy.”

“Okay. Love you forever, Zayn.”

“I love you for eternity, Liam.”

**Author's Note:**

> This ending made me really nervous, so please don't hate me...And, again, thank you if you made it to the end! :) 
> 
> I know some questions are left unanswered or at least open, but I didn't want this to go on too long and, besides, I am bad at endings so I was leaving it open for a possible sequel if I feel motivated or later find it necessary (:


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